Hate to Love You
by MyDirtyLittleSecret
Summary: Love is like getting hit by a train and the heart can be a very fragile thing to try to piece back together. Akiha was about to learn this first hand. Umeda x Akiha.
1. Chapter 1: Gotta Be Somebody

**Disclaimer: ** I do not own anything having to do with Hana Kimi except for the manga I bought honestly. I do not own the characters, the original story manga plot, or anything else there in. This is purely for entertainment value. Nothing else. This is the only time you will see this disclaimer. The disclaimer is implied in the continuing chapters.

**A/N: **Yay, new Akiha and Umeda story! I couldn't resist. I love this couple. This is going to begin during their high school years, go through college, through the manga, and most likely beyond that ending. I've been doing lots of research and making lots of notes from the information contained in the manga. However, I am only human. I do make mistakes. If you see something that is information-ally incorrect please let me know and I will fix it immediately. I have no idea how long this story is gonna be. It's already up to 22 pages on my computer and it's not even a 1/3 written. LOL So this is gonna be a long one, people. I have no idea when I became an exclusively Hana Kimi fan fic writer, but this series just keeps breeding new ideas in my mind all the time. I hope this will make you laugh, cry, and squee in glee. :-P

Big huge thanks to Deathnotebliss who has graciously offered to be my beta. You are awesome!

**Warning: **Spoilers for the entire series. For the entire story: Gay sex, high school kids and gay sex, foul language, teenagers smoking, drug use, alcohol use, and insanity. I think that covers everything...

Enjoy!

**Hate to Love You**

**By: MyDirtyLittleSecret**

**Part One**

High School

**Chapter One**

This time I wonder what it feels like

To find the one in this life

The one we all dream of

But dreams just aren't enough

So I'll be waiting for the real thing

I'll know it be the feeling

The moment when we're meeting

Will Play out like a scene

Straight off the silver screen

-Gotta Be Somebody, By: Nickelback

Akiha Hara had crush on Hokuto Umeda the second day he was at Osaka High School. If Akiha had been the one to vote who the best looking guy in that high school was it would have been Umeda. He had felt that way the instant he first laid eyes on the older boy in the cafeteria. He remembered thinking _I want to talk to him. _They way they met face to face was actually really stupid and somewhat embarrassing. Their first meeting seemed like a metaphor for the rest of their relationship. Wondering why?

Well, it was because Umeda slammed a door in Akiha's face.

Yeah, that's right. A damn door. Painfully blocked by Umeda that very first minute, and from then onward it seemed. How incredibly ironic. Mission failed before he'd even gotten a word in edgewise.

Akiha could remember it all perfectly. He'd been walking down the hall close to the wall with his head down. He'd been looking at the print out of his class schedule. It was only his third day at the high school. He'd been so absorbed in that stupid piece of paper that he hadn't even noticed anything else. Then WHAM! Then out of the blue the bathroom door came flying at his face. It connected with a loud smack into Akiha's forehead. One second he'd been up. The next he was sitting on his ass on the floor, clutching his head. His books were scattered around his feet and his papers in disarray in his lap.

He sat there in a dazed confusion, wondering what the hell had just happened to him. He blinked in surprise when he heard a smooth, clear voice say, "Oh…sorry." He'd looked up into a pair of amber eyes and was captured. He thought his heart might have stopped beating. He knew for sure he'd stopped breathing for half a moment. He remembered staring, blankly, at those eyes. He wondered if it was even possible for someone to have eyes that color.

"Hey, stupid! You ok or what?" that voice asked rudely.

Akiha blinked a couple times. He finally managed to focus on the rest of the boy's face. Wow. That was all he could think. The rude boy in front of him was beyond beautiful. He'd looked amazing sitting across the cafeteria. Close up the boy was gorgeous. He had the most beautiful mahogany brown hair he'd ever seen. His skin was flawless and pale. His school uniform clung to his form in a way it didn't for any of the other boys. The pants outlined the shape of his hips and the thin, long length of his legs. His sweater showed off a trim chest with somewhat broad shoulders. He was all perfect, lean lines.

A black haired handsome boy appeared over the first boy's right shoulder. "Is he ok?"

"I dunno," The amber eyed boy shrugged. "He hasn't moved. He doesn't look like he's bleeding."

"Great. Well, you take care of him. I have to get to class. I have duties to attend to," the black haired boy said airily as he waved good bye.

Akiha really didn't take much notice of the conversation or when the black haired boy left. He just kept right on staring at those amber eyes, which had narrowed in annoyance.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" The boy asked.

"What fingers?" Akiha asked dumbly, to intent on the boy's face to notice anything else.

The boy rolled his eyes. "Christ, I must have knocked you stupid. C'mon." He leaned over to help Akiha to his feet before slinging one of the blond's arms around his neck. He slipped his other arm around Akiha's waist to support him. "I'll take you to the doctor's office. What the hell were you doing walking that close to the wall? Who are you anyways?"

Akiha swallowed hard and forced his mouth to work. It was a little hard to concentrate while being half carried by this amazingly attractive boy. Every place their bodies touched seemed to tingle. "I'm Akiha Hara. First year. I was looking at my class schedule."

"Newbie, huh? Hell of a way to start the school year," the boy remarked with an amused smirk.

"Uh, yeah. Who are you?" Akiha asked. He had to know this boy's name.

"Umeda Hokuto, second year." The boy answered.

Second year. So Umeda was his sempai. "Thank you for helping me, sempai."

"Well, I couldn't just leave you there after slamming a door in your face. Even I'm not that cruel." Umeda muttered in annoyance.

A few moments later they arrived at the clinic door. Umeda pushed open the door and walked in. "Hey, Sensei! This kid needs to get looked at."

The doctor, an older man in his mid-30s, got to his feet and walked around his desk. "What happened to him?"

"I smacked him in the face with the bathroom door on accident." He helped Hara sit on the edge of the clinic bed. He glared when the doctor gave him a scolding look. "It wasn't my fault! He was walking to close to the wall." Umeda explained defensively.

"What's your name?" The doctor asked Hara.

"Akiha Hara, sir," the boy replied.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

Umeda snorted. "I already asked him that question."

"You are not a professional licensed doctor," the man replied off handedly as he held up four fingers in front of Hara's face.

"Four," the boy answered confidently.

"You couldn't even answer that question when I asked you?" Umeda looked annoyed.

"So Mr. Hara, how are you feeling?" the doctor ignored Umeda.

Akiha forced himself to smile cheerfully. He had to pull the mask back together that Umeda had briefly broken down between the bathroom door and the clinic. "I'm fine. It was nothing really."

"Nothing?" Umeda's eyebrows went up. The kid had seemed pretty dazed before. He began to frown. Something wasn't right.

Akiha laughed casually. "I was little stunned, but I'm alright now. Please, don't worry about me."

"You sure, Mr. Hara. It sounds like you got smacked pretty hard. You might have gotten a concussion. Do you feel dizzy, nauseas, blurry vision, or lightheaded?" the doctor asked him seriously.

"No, nothing. I'd just like to go to my class," Akiha answered, smile kept firmly in place. He didn't want the doctor touching him. He wasn't worth being fussed over. He was just lucky to be in this high school. He didn't deserve it. He had to get better at acting happy. He had to be grateful. He couldn't cause trouble.

He didn't notice Umeda's face take on a suspicious expression. The boy wasn't fooled by Akiha's act. He'd seen the blond honest reactions only moments before. What he was seeing now was completely fake. There was something wrong with this kid. And it wasn't physical.

"Well, Mr. Hara, if you do have any of those symptoms please come straight back here. I will want to keep an eye on you if you do have a concussion. They can be serious so don't act like there's nothing wrong if you aren't feeling well. Got it?" the doctor quirked an eyebrow up at the kid. Even he knew there was something off, but he wasn't about to force the boy to talk.

"Yes, sir. I understand." Hara replied seriously.

"Good. Now the both of you get the class. Here are some late passes," the doctor handed them slips of paper then directed them out the door.

Umeda stood next to Akiha for a moment, eyeing the other boy up and down. Really, the boy was pretty damn cute. He was tall and willowy with ginger colored eyes and flaxen hair. He was a little to thin though. That blond hair was definitely real. It was to perfectly highlighted to be dyed. He had a nice smile too.

Akiha shifted uncomfortably under that scrutinizing gaze. His heart sped up the longer to other boy stared. "What?" He asked self consciously.

"You're really ok? You're not just lying so the doctor would leave you alone, are you?" Umeda asked shrewdly.

"I'm alright." Akiha replied, trying to sound sincere. Honestly, his face hurt. His forehead throbbed from where the door had connected against his head. He probably was going to bruise. That'd look great, he sighed. The first week of high school and he'd be walking around with a big huge bruise on his forehead.

"Right, well, I gotta get to class. Don't walk so close to the wall anymore. See yah around." Umeda turned and walked away. He needed to get to class. Ryoichi would give him shit about smacking that poor kid in the face, but he didn't care. As long as he got to sit next to the darkly handsome boy he liked he was happy.

Akiha watched him hurry off with a sigh. He wished he could have gotten to be around the other boy longer. Sure, Umeda was a little blunt and rude, but he was kind too. He didn't have to take Akiha to the clinic. He could have just left him there. Umeda really was gorgeous. He hoped he would see more of him. He turned in the direction of his class, but couldn't help looking back one more time to watch Umeda as he disappeared around the corner.

/

Umeda hadn't really meant to take such an interest in the new freshman, Hara. He was trying to figure out whether the blond was a great actor with his disgusting cheerful, social act or if that was indeed his real personality. Thing was, when Umeda hit him with the door, Hara had acted like someone else. He'd been quiet and dazed. He had been kinda cute with that confused, stunned look on his face. His face had been the most honest in those few minutes. So Umeda was bemused and suspicious. This was usually a cause for concern for whoever it was he had his attention set on. He was determined to find out about Hara.

Umeda started to keep an eye out for the blond. For a private school and a small student body, he didn't see Hara all that much. However, they were in different dorms; Umeda in Dorm 2 and Hara in Dorn 3. _Go figure that Hara was in the drama dorm,_ thought Umeda. They were also in different grades so their classes were on opposite ends of the school campus. It was not like Umeda was getting obsessed about the blond. There was just something off about Akiha's behavior and he wanted to know what was up with that. The curiosity was killing him.

He did see the blond at the cafeteria and wandering through the school halls. Within a about a month of being at the high school the blond had become very popular in his class. His unusual hair color and cheerful personality drew people to him like a magnet. He was always with a group of people whenever Umeda saw him. It irritated Umeda even more. He couldn't understand how they could be so taken in by such a fake persona. Didn't any of them see the lie in that smile? Or was it just Umeda that could see the truth since he'd witnessed the blond's true self first hand. He'd liked the boy then. The vulnerable side he'd seen had been attractive to him for some reason. That always smiling, happy crap that Hara pretended to be was annoying since it was false. It was when Umeda decided to not bother about figuring out Hara that he ran into the other boy for the first time since the door incident. This time Umeda bumped into Hara in the gardens…literally.

Umeda had been reading his book as he walked down the path between the flower beds to his favorite place to sit and chill out. At this hour, the gardens were usually deserted. Most of the other students were inside their rooms rushing to finish their homework before curfew and lights out. So Umeda wasn't exactly paying attention to his surroundings as he walked. He certainly didn't see the blond until he tripped over him. He went down in a heap—book flying out of his hands. He heard someone else yelp and a clatter of plastic on the ground. He rolled over and sat up, pushing his glasses back up his nose—which had nearly been dislodged when he fell. Sitting across from him, clutching his head was Akiha Hara.

"Shit! Sorry! Are you alright?" Umeda scooted over to the boy's side.

"The corner of your book hit my head." Akiha gasped in a pained voice. He cracked an eye open, scanning the ground in concern. "Where's my camera?"

"Camera?" Umeda looked around and spotted a plain black camera lying in the dirt next to a rose bush. He reached over and snatched it up. He brushed off the dirt before examining it more closely for damage. It didn't look any worse for the wear despite its trip to the ground. "Here it is. It looks fine. I'm sorry. I'll pay for it if it's broken."

"No. That's alright. It's not that great anyways. I'm gonna get a new one soon as I save up enough money," Hara replied taking the camera. He checked it over himself before handing Umeda back his book.

They sat there in awkward silence for a minute.

"So, uh, you like to take pictures?" Umeda asked.

It was a stupidly obvious question.

Hara smiled; a true happy smile. Umeda blinked in amazement. The boy was really cute like that. He was holding the camera reverently as he began to talk with that smile on his face. "Yeah I do. Pictures help me capture good memories. It makes me see the world in a different way."

"Different how?"

"Beautiful."

_As opposed to it looking like what?_ Umeda wondered. "Are you part of the photography club?"

"Oh no. It's to late to get involved. I didn't sign up at the beginning of the year like you're supposed to," Hara replied a touch sadly.

"They won't mind if you join late. People do that all the time. You should join the club if you have such a passion for photography. Otherwise who's gonna see your pictures besides you? You're not gonna keep them to yourself are you? That'd be a little selfish," Umeda remarked offhandedly.

Akiha stared at him in bemusement. "I'll think about it then."

"You do that."

"Thanks, Sempai!" Hara grinned cheerfully.

Umeda shrugged. "You're welcome." It was then he realized Hara's cheerful mask was back in place. He frowned. It'd only taken a few seconds for Hara to pull it back together. Was physically hurting the boy the only way to get him to act like his real self?

"Ne, Sempai, I didn't know you wore glasses," Hara sat forward with a teasing smile.

"I wear them when I read, because I have astigmatism," Umeda replied loftily.

"I think they make you look older," Hara remarked.

The way he said it had Umeda looking over suspiciously. The kid didn't know he was gay, right? Was the blond? He hummed in thought as he fished around in his pocket for his pack of smokes. That had been his real purpose in coming out here anyways; to read and to smoke. He didn't like smoking in the dorms, because he had to run the fan in the bathroom and a fan in the room to make sure no one smelled it. Then there was always the possibility that the RA would smell it if he was doing a walk around outside to make sure all the students were in for the night. Smoking in the garden was the only place he could do it and feel completely worry free about it. He ignored Hara's big eyed stare as he flicked open the pack, shook out a cigarette, and fished out his lighter.

"You're a smoker, Sempai? Aren't you worried about getting caught? Don't you know how bad those are for you? You could get cancer!" Hara babbled in shock.

"And I could get hit by a truck and die tomorrow," Umeda replied sarcastically as he lighted his cigarette before taking a deep drag. "I won't get caught if you don't say anything."

Hara sat back. "I won't say anything."

"Good." Umeda flicked the ash into the flower bed.

"Don't do that! It's bad for the plants!" Hara gasped, swiping the ash away from the rose bush.

The other boy rolled his eyes. "What do you care? It's a damn flower bush."

"But it's beautiful. It should be taken care of properly," the blond replied passionately.

Umeda's eyebrows went up in disbelief. "Um, oook. That's a little weird."

"Things that are beautiful in the world disappear. That's why I take pictures of them. I want to remember them the way looked at their best." Hara twiddled his fingers as he tried to explain himself. He knew it didn't make sense to anyone else. There were other reasons why he took pictures, but those reasons were ones he never talked about. Not to anyone.

Umeda just shrugged it off. "Whatever."

"You're really weird to, Sempai," Hara pointed out defensively.

"Yeah so," Umeda smirked knowingly.

Akiha couldn't tell him that he liked him, because of that. At first, it had just been attraction to the other boy's gorgeous looks. Akiha liked Umeda more now, because of his personality. He was rude and uncouth. He didn't try to fit into a mold like almost everyone else did in the school. He was everything Akiha wasn't strong enough to be. This boy didn't hide behind smiles and pretend merriment. He looked people in the eye and said what he thought out right. Akiha wanted to be closer to the boy. He wanted to know everything about him so that maybe he could learn to be himself like Umeda.

This moment here, as Umeda sat smoking while Akiha began to take pictures again, was probably the true beginning of it all. Both eyed each other when the other wasn't looking. Each wanted to know more about the other—wanted to figure each other out. It would be the nature of their weird association for years to come. They could already feel, even vaguely, that this was the start of something even if they couldn't understand what that something was just yet.

/

Be a responsible reader and review!

I'm really looking forward to hearing from all of you and getting your opinion. See you all next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2: You're Awful, I love you!

**A/N: **I feel silly. For some reason, I seriously thought I'd posted this chapter already. So, sorry for the long wait. I love this story and have every desire to see it through. This idea has been festering in my mind for over a year. So have no fear that this story will be dropped or put on hiatus. This chapter is dedicated to TopCombine who unintentionally reminded me to update and for the wonderful review. :D

**PS: **This is the official theme song for this story. LOL! If you don't know this song you should look it up. It is awesome. Look up the music video on Youtube too. It's hilarious. :D

**P.S.S.**: Sorry for any grammatical or spelling issues. This chapter is unbeta-ed.

**Chapter Two**

**You're Awful, I love You**

Love me cancerously  
Like a salt-sore soaked in the sea.  
'High-maintenance' means  
You're a gluttonous queen  
Narcissistic and mean.  
Kill me romantically  
Fill my soul with vomit  
Then ask me for a piece of gum.  
Bitter and dumb  
You're my sugarplum.  
You're awful, I love you!

-Love Me Dead, By Ludo

Akiha really hadn't meant to appear like he was following Umeda around. Every since they'd talked in the garden they seemed to keep running into each other. It really was a coincidence…most of the time. Akiha had figured out what time and what days the other boy was usually out there. So he did try to show up as often as possible at the same time as Umeda. He was sure the other boy had noticed, but Umeda had yet to say anything about it. The other boy would sit and read or write while Akiha took pictures of the flowers, bushes, trees, and whatever birds or animals happened to be in the area. The blond wondered though if the other boy noticed the camera pointing his direction more and more often. The scenery now no longer drew his attention like it used to before he ran into Umeda here. Akiha couldn't seem to keep his camera lens away from the other boy. After the first few pictures of Umeda developed in his home made darkroom, he was hooked. Every picture of Umeda was beautiful, like the boy was made just for photographing. Akiha couldn't get enough of taking pictures of the other boy.

It was during these times of taking pictures that they began to talk. It was only a little at first, but ever since that first conversation it was easier to break the ice between them. The words were still a little awkward to find for Akiha when he got to caught up in just listening or looking at Umeda. This was the first person he really liked and wanted to have like him back. It was a new experience for him. He wasn't quite sure how to handle it. Before he just wanted people to like him, not that he necessarily liked them. It was thrilling and scary to suddenly have this overwhelming feeling of attraction for another person, especially since he'd never known he liked boys. He shouldn't really be surprised. His mother hadn't exactly given him the best impression of women, but he didn't hate all of them in general because of her.

Every conversation with Umeda was exciting, because it was a chance to learn more about the boy. Akiha wanted to learn everything about Umeda. He'd never had the desire to know someone like this until now. He sat at his desk in his dorm room now, looking at his pictures of Umeda. His favorite was one of Umeda wearing his glasses with his hair blowing in the breeze as his eyes stared intently at the book in his hands. His legs were crossed in front of him, his tie fluttered in the wind, and his shirt was partially unbuttoned revealing a tantalizing view of Umeda's pale neck and delicate looking clavicle. Every time Akiha looked at this picture he had the overwhelming desire to touch all that pale skin. It was beautiful. He blinked forcing his thoughts away from such things. He recalled the conversation he'd had that day when he'd finished taking pictures and had sat down under a tree not far away from the other boy.

"Do you have family?" Akiha had asked. He didn't really know why that question had popped out. It just had and as soon as he said it he was desperate to know the answer.

Umeda looked up from his book, looking slightly annoyed at being bothered. "Yeah. Although sometimes I wish I didn't."

"You shouldn't wish that," the blond said softly.

"Maybe you should meet my family then you might understand," Umeda replied, looking down at his book like that was the end of the conversation.

Akiha was not ready to stop talking though. "Do you have siblings?"

"Why are you so interested?" The other boy glanced back up in irritation.

Akiha hesitated before answering. "I don't really have a family. Just my Dad."

"Oh," Umeda frowned—feeling bad now. He didn't know why. He didn't know this kid enough to care, but for some reason he felt guilty for being so rude before. "I have two sisters. One's older and has a son already. The other is younger than me by several years. I have both of my parents."

"What are they like?"

"They're all crazy." Umeda said simply as he looked back down at his book.

Akiha laughed—a real laugh. One that Umeda had to look up to observe. The sound of it was enough to bring a smile to his face. He wondered why the blond couldn't be more real like this all the time. "They sound like fun," The blond said.

"They can be annoying…but not always," Umeda admitted grudgingly.

"They're your family."

"Yeah."

The conversation had died out after that. Akiha had thought it best not to push the other boy too far or Umeda might decide not to talk to him at all anymore. They talked a little each day they ran into each other in the garden after that. Akiha always asking as many questions as he felt he could get away with before annoying Umeda.

Akiha flipped through the more of the pictures in his hands. A picture of a bird feeding its chicks made him smile briefly before he looked at the next picture. This photograph was of Umeda sprawled out comfortably under a tree with a cigarette between his fingers, a notebook in his lap, and a scowl on his face aimed right at Akiha. The blond remembered that particular conversation perfectly.

"Would you stop pointing that damn thing at me!" Umeda snapped irritably.

"I thought you didn't notice."

"I did."

"Oh."

"You're never gonna expand your talent if you don't photograph anything else," Umeda remarked offhandedly as he went back to writing.

"Is that why you're writing all the time? Practicing your talent?" Akiha asked curiously.

"I suppose. I thought someday I might try my hand at journalism or something," Umeda answered, looking up to see the blond watching him with eagerness. "You ever wondered what you might do with your life?" He didn't know why he asked.

"I dunno. I don't have any real talents…that I can think of," Akiha fiddled with his camera.

Umeda quirked up an eyebrow in disbelief at that remark and glanced pointedly at the camera. "Aren't you holding it?"

Akiha looked down at his camera. "I never thought about taking pictures for a living."

"My dad always said to do something you're passionate about," the other boy said seriously.

"You're dad sounds smart."

"Eh…he can be, I guess." Umeda shrugged.

"Do you really think I could do that?"

"What's it matter what I think? If you like taking pictures a lot be a fucking photographer," Umeda rolled his eyes.

Akiha smiled at the boy's blunt words. It was this side of Umeda he loved—that kindness underneath the harsh words. "Alright." He smiled cheerily. "Would you like to be my model?"

"No." Umeda shook his head and went back to writing. The blond was out of his mind. He had to be to take anything Umeda said seriously. He looked up to say something else, but saw the fake smile plastered back on the blond's face. He sighed irritably. Why the hell did Akiha do that? He still had yet to figure it out. It bothered him whenever he was with the blond. He'd get a few minutes of talking to the real person underneath all that stupidity and then all the sudden it would be back. The kid was one of the best emotional turn coats he'd ever seen. If the damn kid would be himself more often Umeda might actually be able to like him. He didn't dare say anything about it though for fear of encouraging the other boy's very obvious crush on him.

Akiha had not taken any more picture of the other boy since. He had taken Umeda's advice somewhat to heart. He had been shooting pictures of other things. He knew he'd eventually go back to taking pictures of Umeda, because he simply couldn't help himself. Having the other boy in his viewfinder was more addicting than any vice in his opinion. He didn't think he'd ever be able to find anything or anyone that was as beautiful as Umeda Hokuto.

/

Akiha wanted to know everything about Umeda. This particular desire ended up biting him in the ass. It was the end of the school festival. He'd watched his crush the whole time, surprised by the other boy's hidden athleticism and passionate side. So of course he had noticed when Umeda ran off when everyone should have been helping clean up. He saw Umeda running around the corner of the school like he was searching for something. Curiosity tugged at him. He had felt compelled to follow. Maybe he could help Umeda find whatever it was that had drawn him away from his vice presidential duties. He could sense that something was about to happen so he sped up. Above the clouds were darkening swiftly and threatening rain any second. He continued to jog briskly down the path he'd seen Umeda taking towards Dorm 2. He didn't want to get caught out in the rain. He had no umbrella. If he didn't find him in a few minutes, he decided he'd just go back Dorm 3.

Just as he decided this he heard raised voices a second later as he came to the corner of the school. It sounded like some boys were having an argument. He recognized the sound of his sempai as one of the voices just out of sight. He hesitated—wondering if he should just ignore the call of his curiosity. This was none of his business. Whatever was going on between Umeda and whoever else was not something he should be sticking his nose in to.

Rain began to fall as he wavered in making his decision. What could it hurt to take a peak to see what they were arguing about? He peeked his eyes around the corner. What he saw made his jaw drop. Umeda Hokuto was kissing Kojima Ryoichi like he wanted to melt into the other boy. Akiha couldn't help, but watch for a moment. He was to stunned to turn away. It was both fascinating and disappointing. In an instant, he realized two things. Umeda was gay and he was in love with Kojima-sempai. Akiha's hopes were shattered before they'd even had a chance to fully blossom. He was painfully blocked again like that door slamming into his face. Like fate was saying 'sorry kid, this one isn't for you.'

He watched the two boys kiss like nothing else existed in the world at the moment for them. Finally, he managed to wrench himself away from the scene and back away further from the corner. He stood there in the rain, drenched through every piece of clothing he had on, as he wondered what happened for him now. For the first time in his life, he'd found someone he cared deeply about. He loved that boy. He never expected to feel that way for anyone. He hadn't thought he'd been capable to love anymore after his mother had abandoned him. He'd felt so dark and cold inside for so long that he never thought the empty hole inside him could be fixed. Yet, when he was with Umeda that empty place inside lessened. Sometimes he felt like it wasn't even there at all. He had hoped that the other boy might be able to love him back. Maybe whatever was wrong with Akiha deep inside could be fixed by Umeda—or so the blond had desperately wanted to believe. He felt cut off and alone again. It was a feeling he loathed more than anything.

A little voice in his head whispered that he shouldn't give up so easily. If you love someone you don't give up on them.

He swallowed hard as he thought about that. He couldn't just give up on Umeda. He truly did love the other boy. He wanted to be with him. He wanted to be close to him. Maybe whatever Umeda had with Ryoichi wasn't a sure thing. Maybe he still had a chance. If there was even a small one, he'd keep trying to win Umeda's heart. He ignored that stupid door of rejection fate kept throwing in his face. He wasn't about to give up.

It took him a few days to muster up the courage to confess. He knew it was probably useless. He knew he had to try though. He couldn't give up without at least having said something to Umeda about how he felt. For once, he didn't want to hide behind the mask he had created. His feelings for Umeda were too strong to just down play or brush aside with a smile like he did for everything else. Even if he was rejected at least he had tried. He was doing something for himself for once, not to please someone else, but to please himself. It was something he had not done for a long time. It made him nervous to do it now.

He waited for his chance in the garden. Umeda was there reading his book. Akiha found it hard to even pretend to take pictures as waited for the opportunity to present itself. Umeda glanced up over the top of his book to see the blond staring at him. The other boy had been doing that since he'd arrived. It was beginning to weird Umeda out. He sighed and decided it would be more peaceful to go read in his room. He got to his feet, brushed off his pants, and began to walk away.

"Umeda!" Akiha called, scrambling to his feet. He didn't know why the other boy was leaving, but he couldn't let his chance slip away. Umeda kept right on walking. Akiha hesitated, wavering between letting the other boy go or speaking out for himself. He was torn as he watched the growing space between him and the other boy. "Please go out with me!" Akiha burst out, half panicked. His mouth had made the decision before he fully realized it.

Umeda stopped abruptly. He spun around to face the blond with an incredulous look on his face. "What? Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because I like you," Akiha said desperately, clutching his camera.

"What if I don't like you?" Umeda scowled, crossing his arms. "I'm not into boys."

Akiha had to smile a little at that declaration. "I know you're gay, Sempai."

"Oh really?"

"Yes," the blond looked down at his hands. "I saw you kissing Kojima-sempai."

Umeda went pale for a second. A moment later the scowl was back on his face. "Alright so you found me out. You should know I already like him then."

"Yes, I do know. I still had to ask." Akiha replied quietly.

"Look, Akiha, I hardly even know you."

"So?"

"You're not my type." That was somewhat of a lie. He thought the blond was cute and attractive. It was the boy's weirdness he didn't like.

"Please, Sempai. I love you!" Akiha declared ardently.

Umeda scrutinized him for a long moment. "I don't believe you. Stop messing with me."

"I'm not! Please, go out with me!"

"No! I don't like you. Go find someone else to stalk."

"But-!"

"I said no!" Umeda snapped irritably.

Just like that Umeda had blocked him out again. If Akiha had been smarter—if his heart hadn't fallen so completely in love—he would have realized then it was hopeless to chase Umeda. Yet, as he watched Umeda turn and stomp off Akiha's determination only strengthened. He refused to give up. He would prove to his sempai that his feelings were serious—even if he didn't know how to do that.

/

Be a responsible reader and review!

Yes, this was a short chapter. I'm sorry. I know Umeda seems a little harsh, but you have to remember these are teenage boys. They tend to be assholes. I should know. I have three brothers and had to deal with the teenage idiocy their mouths can spout. So bear that in mind. I'll see you all next chapter, which I will try to have up by next weekend.


	3. Chapter 3: You're hideous and Sexy!

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay on this story. I really do have the whole thing planned out. I'm just getting hung up here and there on some of the details. Spanning this much time in a story line is a little daunting. Thanks for everyone who has come back to continue reading this story! Enjoy!

P.S.: Please forgive any grammar or spelling chapters. This chapter is un-beta read, because I wanted to just get this posted. LOL

**Chapter Three**

You're a faith-healer on T.V.  
You're an office park without any trees  
Corporate and cold  
Gushing for gold  
Leave me alone.  
You suck so passionately  
You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature  
finger-bangin' my heart  
You call me up drunk  
Does the fun ever start?  
You're hideous and sexy!

She moves through moonbeams slowly  
She knows just how to hold me  
And when her edges soften  
Her body is my coffin  
I know she drains me slowly  
She wears me down to bones in bed

Must be the sign on my head  
That says, oh...  
Love me dead! Love me dead!  
-Ludo: You're Awful, I love you!

/

It'd been a week since Umeda had turned Akiha down flat. Something about it was bugging the piss out of him. He'd turned down more guys in high school than he could count. It usually didn't bother him at all. Akiha, though, was different. He could tell the boy really meant it when he declared his love. The other guys only thought they loved him or were just trying to convince him. Finding someone to sleep around with was not a problem for Umeda. So taking up some sap on his love declaration just for a lay was not worth it at all. It made the brush off afterward to damn difficult. If Akiha meant it though, that put him on a whole different level. That meant the blond wasn't about to just take no for an answer. That was what kept plaguing him the most.

"So what's up with you lately?"

Umeda looked away from the window he'd been staring out of to gaze at Ryoichi. "What do you mean?"

Ryoichi gave him a bland look. "You're been acting odd."

"No, I haven't."

"Right. So the excessive scowling and staring out the window all the time is normal for you now?" The dark haired boy raised an eyebrow in mocking sarcasm.

"Excessive scowling?" Umeda was a little horrified to hear he'd been so damn obvious about his malcontent.

"So?"

Umeda rolled his eyes, but stayed silent. He wasn't about to talk about this here in the classroom where all of his friends and other students could be listening in.

"C'mon. It's lunch hour anyways. I need a smoke," Ryoichi said softly and stood up, heading for the door.

Umeda followed, helpless to stop himself, despite knowing Ryoichi wasn't about to drop the subject. They made it up to the roof without any interference. They each pulled out a pack of cigarettes and shook one out into their hand. After the initial light was started and they got their first drag of nicotine filled smoke, the silence was broken.

"So talk." Ryoichi said curtly.

"This freshman's declared his love to me. He's annoying and ridiculous. There's no way he can be serious." Umeda growled in irritation before sucking down a long drag from his cigarette.

"He was serious enough to confess," Ryoichi pointed out, flicking away some of his ash.

Umeda scowled. "He's confused."

"Who is he?"

"Hara Akiha."

"Ah. **That **freshman."

Umeda looked over at his friend suspiciously. "You know who he is?"

"Hara's already vastly popular in his class and amongst the rest of the freshman. He's always known to be cheerful and uplifting. He's already built that kind of reputation in two months. That's pretty impressive."

"Yeah, well, he's a damn fake. That attitude is just a lie. I can't stand it." Umeda snapped, flicking his ash a bit violently.

Ryoichi watched his friend seethe for a moment. "So it's not the fact that it's a guy that confessed to you, but that he's a fake?"

Umeda blinked then realized he'd screwed himself over. Sure, they hadn't spoken about the kisses between them that had happened, but he didn't think the kisses gave away the fact that he was gay. He was hoping maybe Ryoichi would believe was he just bi. He was afraid if he voiced aloud where his sexual sentiments lay that his friend would be totally disgusted. Now, he didn't know what to say without giving himself away. He pulled down another drag of smoke in an attempt to give himself an excuse not to answer for another moment.

Thankfully, Ryoichi spared him. "Are you ever gonna admit to me that you're gay?"

Umeda almost choked on the smoke he'd inhaled. He really should have expected Ryoichi to figure it all out and to be blunt about talking about it. It didn't matter that he should know his friend was like that. It still threw him off. "I'm not—I mean just because he-!" He struggled to get out.

The other boy just gave him that blank stare again that said he wasn't buying a word of it. Umeda knew he couldn't get away with denying it any longer. There was plenty of evidence stacked against him now. Umeda sighed, knowing he'd been trapped.

"Fine. I'm gay," Umeda spat out, not liking being practically forced into admitting it.

"Yeah I knew," Ryoichi answered infuriatingly, flicking away his spent cigarette and lighting another.

Umeda gritted his teeth. There were some moments where he wondered why he loved this asshole. "Bastard," he grumbled.

"So about Hara-." Ryoichi switched the subject back to its original content. "What'd you say?"

"That I don't like him."

"Harsh."

Umeda scowled at the other boy. "What do you care?"

Ryoichi shrugged. "It's your love life."

"What would I gain by dating that idiot?" Umeda snapped. "We'd either have to sneak around or come out to the entire school given how noisy the school populace is. It'd be so damn annoying. Not to mention I'd probably hurt him if he acts cheerful all the time."

"So you'd much rather screw around." Ryoichi remarked shrewdly.

Umeda stared at his friend guardedly. His silence unfortunately spoke volumes to the other boy.

"You think I didn't notice how you sneak off with random guys?" Ryoichi asked with a smirk. "Did you think I would assume you were just talking to them?"

"Why do you have to be so damn observant and smart?" Umeda crossed his arms over his chest.

Ryoichi shrugged. "I tend to take notice of things when it involves my best friend."

"So now I'm your best friend?" Umeda smiled.

The other boy didn't say anything. He just smirked and took another drag off his cigarette. Umeda didn't mind the silence. It was enough to know that Ryoichi was happy to have him by his side. Best friend status meant that at least he was making progress. He hoped someday the other boy would look at him as more than a friend. He hoped for the time when they'd maybe get to share kisses again and so much more. In the mean time, he would stay as close to Ryoichi as he could.

He was also going to have to find some way to chase off Akiha. As long as that blond was snooping around it was going to make his life difficult, and he knew Akiha would come around again. How could he do it that would get the point across and scare the blond off for good? It was not that he didn't like Akiha. He just wasn't going to give the blond any false hope or any reason to continue chasing him. That meant whatever he did was gonna have to be very effective. A slow smirk slowly began to crawl across his face. He had just the right idea. It would take some careful planning, but he didn't think it would be to difficult. It was gonna have to be all about the timing. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't see the sarcastic knowing look Ryoichi was sending his way.

/

It was harder for Akiha to maintain his happy mask over the next week. He'd mustered all his courage and confessed to the boy he lovely only to be completely shut down. He was not even given the hope of a possibility. Perhaps if Umeda had been straight the rejection might not have stung quite so bad. In fact, it would have been more expected. Umeda said he didn't like Akiha, but the blond didn't entirely believe him. No the real reason was he simply didn't measure up to Kojima Ryoichi. It hurt to be rejected like that. What did Ryoichi have that he didn't? Besides the fact, that he was class president, the entire school populace seemed to love him, and he never seemed to put a foot wrong. He wasn't better than Akiha. He kept going around in circles with these stupid thoughts. It was driving him to near distraction.

Yet, somehow he still managed to keep his happy smile and sunny attitude. He didn't want anyone to pity him. He hated being pitied for any reason. Pity didn't replace love that was denied. Not by a long shot. He knew that lesson far to well already. He had to keep on smiling, laugh, and act happy, because no one would like him otherwise. All he wanted was to be liked. He needed his friends to smile back at him. He needed their attention in order to feel wanted. He knew it was pathetic and weak to feel that way, but it was the only thing that gave him a reason to wake up every morning. None of his friends suspected that he was hurting inside. All they saw was the exterior personality he presented. They bought it entirely. Did that make them shallow? He didn't care as long as they stayed near him.

He had fallen in love with Umeda, because the other boy could see under his mask. The other boy was the only person that was able to shake Akiha up enough to lose his ability to maintain his happy mask. Around Umeda, he found he was able to be himself. It was so refreshing and empowering to have someone see the real him. He'd thought that if anyone ever did they'd cringe when they saw the dark, jaded look in his eyes. Umeda did no such thing.

So in spite of the rejection, Akiha held out faith that he could make Umeda like him. He wanted Umeda, because the boy made him feel good; made him feel truly happy and whole. He'd do anything to keep that feeling. He wouldn't give up.

Akiha passed Umeda once in the hall during lunch period about four days after the rejection. The blond's heart leapt into overdrive at the sight of the other boy. Umeda was beautiful—messy hair, slightly crooked tie, and tight pants. Akiha wanted so desperately for a moment he nearly tripped. The boy scrutinized Akiha like he was dissecting a bug. Whatever Umeda saw in the blond's face made him scowl. He just widened his smile and laughed at his friend's joke as they walked by. Umeda passed him without a second glance.

The blond tried not to think about it the rest of the day. It became impossible when he was left alone to finish cleaning the chalkboards in his homeroom classroom that afternoon. Everyone else was done with their chores and had disappeared to go to their clubs, activities, or back to their dorm room. He'd been working slower than normal because his mind kept wondering. He didn't even notice everyone was gone until he glanced back to ask one of his friends something. He was actually relieved to be left alone for a little while.

He was just finishing up the last chalkboard when he heard voices in the hallway. He frowned, wondering who was out there. All the teachers were gone for the day. He finished wiping the chalkboard and tossed the sponge into a bucket before walking to the door. He heard the door to the classroom next to his open and then shut. The voices disappeared soon as the door was closed. Some students were up to something, he figured. He debated on just ignoring what he heard or going to find out what was going on. Curiosity ended up getting the better of him. He slid his door open before sneaking out to peer in the window next door. The door was still open enough for him to hear the soft conversation going on inside the room.

"Are you sure there's no one down here?"

"Of course. Why are you afraid of getting caught?" A familiar voice made Akiha blink in surprise.

"No," the other boy answered defensively.

Akiha watched in amazement as a figure moved to the front of the classroom and sat on the teacher's desk. He could see clearly who it was now. Umeda Hokuto. Akiha had known soon as he heard his voice, but to see him there sitting on that desk like he owned it was a shock. He looked completely confident in himself. There wasn't any concern that someone would find him here after hours when it was forbidden for students to be here for anything other than academic duties.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Umeda was asking. He reached up to loosen his tie before yanking it off and dropping it on the desk. It was like a challenge being thrown down. He began to unbutton his shirt a moment later. "You wanna fuck me, right?"

Akiha's eyes widened in shock. Had he really just heard that? Umeda was dating the other guy in there? He knew for a fact though that Umeda wasn't dating anyone. That could only mean these two had come here for sex and nothing more. The blond never would have guessed that Umeda was the type to sleep around so casually. He watched in stunned fascination as Umeda slipped off his shirt and dropped it to join his discarded tie on the desk top. Akiha swallowed hard at the breathtaking sight of all that smooth, pale naked skin. Every inch he could see was flawless. The boy was slim, but well muscled. He had to be athletic somehow to have that kind of definition in his muscles. Akiha felt desire seize him, making it hard to breathe and his skin feel far to tight for his body. He wanted to touch Umeda so badly in that moment that it was like a physical ache.

Apparently, the boy Umeda had brought here and seduced felt the same. He finally strode forward into Akiha's line of sight. The blond recognized that boy immediately even with dark lust contorting his features. The boy was a jock—a Kendo specialist. He was big, tall, and handsome. He had at least 4 inches in height over Umeda and his broad, heavily muscled body could easily break the other boy. His short cropped black hair was almost blue in the sunlight streaming through the windows. His deep, dark eyes seemed like they were trying to bore a hole through Umeda. He was in his own right, incredibly handsome. No wonder Umeda had picked him.

Takeo.

The name suddenly appeared in Akiha's mind. That was this boy's name. It was incredibly fitting. Warrior, it meant. The guy looked like one. He seemed to attack Umeda with his mouth and hands as soon as he was within striking range. He kissed Umeda like he wanted to claim him. Akiha bit his lip as jealous surged through him. He wanted to be the one touching every bare inch of skin he could reach and tasting the unique flavor that was Umeda. He couldn't make himself walk away from the scene playing out in front of him though. Something other than jealousy was warming his blood as he watched them make out through the window. It was lust. He glanced down and was not at all surprised to find he was completely hard already.

He looked back up to see Takeo undoing Umeda's belt with quick, efficient flicks of his fingers. The button and zipper on Umeda's pants followed seconds later. Takeo wasted no time in dragging the boy's shoes off, his pants down, and not even hesitating with yanking Umeda's boxers right off. Umeda smirked as he was finally laid out completely naked on the desk like some kind of offering to slack the thirst of a lustful god. He was no virgin lamb though, not with that knowing smirk on his face. It didn't matter that his erection lay hard against his stomach. Umeda acted like he was in control. Takeo growled at that irritating arrogance before ripping down his own pants to free his erection. Akiha blinked. The guy was big—long and thick. He had the kind of cock every guy wished they could have. Umeda licked his lips as he stared down at it in admiration.

"Lube," Umeda breathed. "Tell me you have lube."

Takeo smirked. "No so boastful looking now."

"Oh, I'd take it dry, but I'd like us both to fully enjoy this." Umeda replied loftily.

"I have lube and condoms," the other boy replied evenly.

"I don't do condoms. I like to feel everything. You're clean right?"

Takeo looked slightly offended. "Of course."

"Then come on."

Takeo lifted his eyebrows in surprise. He shrugged a moment later before reaching down his pants pocket for the packet of lube he'd stashed there. He ripped it open and smeared some of it on his fingers. He pushed up Umeda's left leg to get better access to the boy's ass. It gave Akiha a perfect view of everything that happening. He gripped his pants as he got his first full view of Umeda naked. His breath caught at the wanton display of the boy he loved laid out on a desk on a few meters away from him. His pants had become distinctly to tight. He couldn't stop watching now even if he wanted to.

Takeo sank one finger slowly inside Umeda's waiting body. The boy shifted his hips like he wanted more. Takeo obliged by adding another finger without hesitation. Akiha and Takeo watched in deep want as Umeda moaned and rocked his hips down onto those fingers buried inside him. The jock gritted his teeth, obviously trying to hold on to his control as he finger fucked the other boy open. Umeda moaned and arched as those fingers worked inside him. He didn't even look like he was holding himself back. His body was entirely open and honest about how it felt.

"Fuck this," Takeo snapped, pulling fingers out and lubing up his cock.

"Can't wait?" Umeda teased.

"I want you ass—now." The jock rumbled, shifting closer and pressing the head of his cock against Umeda's waiting hole.

Umeda spread his legs wider. "C'mon." He gasped roughly a moment later when Takeo thrust into him. He couldn't stop the low moan that fell from his lips as that cock drove into him, cleaving him open, until Takeo was fully buried inside him. Akiha bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. He'd never seen anything more erotic in his entire life. He couldn't believe Umeda had taken in every inch of that cock. They all paused to admire the view of that dick inside Umeda's ass.

Akiha's cock throbbed hard in his pants. He wondered what it felt like to be penetrated and taken so intimately like that. It had to be incredibly judging by the look on Umeda's face. He imagined what it would be like to have Umeda inside him, over him…and he nearly lost it.

Takeo began to move, rocking slow at first as Umeda adjusted to the intrusion. The pace picked up in only a matter of moments. Umeda rocked down to meet every inward thrust, doing his best to keep up with the pace. He yelped in ecstasy when Takeo grabbed his other calf and threw it over his shoulder, changing the angle so that his cock went deeper. The next thrust in struck his sweet spot making him mewl in a way he would deny if it was ever brought up. After that it was a hazy of motion. The slap of skin against skin, harsh breaths, moans, whimpers, and cuss words filled the silence of the room. It was like some kind of crazy music. On the desk, Umeda gripped Takeo's wrists where they had settled on his hips with bruising force. Umeda began to writhe and cry out sharper as the cock inside him sent into an almost frenzy of pleasure induced euphoria.

Akiha cupped his dick as it throbbed so it hard it was almost painful. He'd never been so turned on in his life. Both boys inside the room were getting close to coming. Akiha could see it in the more ragged thrusts of Takeo's hips and the way Umeda's cock was continuously drooling pre-cum onto his belly. Takeo let go of the boy's hip to reach down and wrap one big hand around Umeda's cock. The other boy cried out as he banged his head off the desk, overwhelmed by the pleasure rocketing through him. One stroke more and he was coming with a broken shout. Takeo growled under his breath as snapped his hips in savagely a couple more time before coming a minute later. He groaned helplessly as his orgasm ripped through him. He leaned over and bit down hard on Umeda's inner thigh. The boy yelped as his cock gave one more twitched and leaked cum as the pain buzzed down his already sensitized nerves.

Both panted and didn't move for several moments as they slowly recovered from their orgasm induced high. Akiha decided now was probably a good time to slip away before they noticed him watching through the window. He quietly crept over to the classroom he'd been cleaning in and snuck back in. He slid the door closed as quietly as he could manage. He pressed himself back against the wall next to the door so he could hear them when they left. His cock still throbbed hard and angry in his pants. He was fighting so hard not to pull out and relieve himself right there. He refused to do it though. He had to wait until he knew they were gone for sure. There was no way he was gonna get caught doing that! He sighed in relief when he heard the next door over slide open and shut then voices disappear down the hall. He sagged against the wall before reaching for the fly of his pants. Now he could get rid of his boner in peace.

He froze when his classroom door suddenly flew open with a jerk. His eyes widened in horror as Umeda glared at him from the doorway.

"Fancy seeing you in here," the boy remarked shrewdly.

Akiha had to force himself to breathe again. His tongue was unfortunately stuck to the roof of his mouth. He couldn't will himself to say anything.

"Did you enjoy watching?" Umeda asked in mock interest, leaning against the door frame. Akiha shifted self consciously. To his dismay, it brought the other boy's attention to the area below the blond's belt. "Obviously, you did," the boy smirked. Umeda stepped all the way into the room and slid the door shut. "You know, it's really rude to spy on people."

"I didn't mean to! I heard someone and went to see who it was. I thought I was the only one here right now." Akiha babbled, finally finding his voice.

"Uh huh." Umeda moved closer, blocking the blond against the wall.

"I didn't mean to watch. Honest. I just…" Akiha snapped his mouth shut. He didn't want to give himself away any further.

Umeda sneered as he crowded into the blond. Akiha bit his lip as his cock pulsed in his pants as the other boy moved into his personal space. Umeda was so close they were almost touching. The blond's fingers curled into fists until his nails dug into his palms. His body shivered with a sharp rush of need as the other boy leaned so close Akiha could feel moist breath on his lips.

"You look like you could use some help with that." Umeda whispered, their lips almost brushing.

Akiha couldn't hold back the groan that phrase caused. He felt like his eyes were gonna bug out of his head when the other boy reached down to deftly undo his belt and yank open his pants. His hands flew forward to grasp the other boy's shirt sleeves. Umeda didn't even slow down. The other boy's hand was down the blond's boxer shorts and pulling out his stiffened cock in less than a few seconds. Akiha felt like someone sucked the air right out of his lungs. The blond moaned heavy in the back of his throat as Umeda's thumb rubbed over the head of his cock before sliding down to grip him completely. The blond shivered hard as the other boy began to stroke his cock in long, slow strokes.

Umeda leaned in until his mouth brushed the blond's throat. "Did you like watching that much?" Akiha gasped roughly as the other boy nipped his neck and thumbed over the head of his cock again, gathering the liquid there to slick his path back down. "Good thing I came down here then, huh?"

Akiha's hands tightened on the other boy's sleeves as he realized something important. "You knew I was here all along."

"Of course," Umeda sneered.

"So you did all that on purpose? You wanted me to see it?"

"Bingo!" Umeda grinned against the blond's throat. "You figured it out."

Akiha began to pant as the other boy's hand sped up. The wet, slick sound of Umeda's hand sliding up and down his dick was deliciously filthy. Akiha's whole body began to shudder as his orgasm began to build in the base of his cock. "But…why would you," he had to pause to lick his dry lips, "do that?"

"To scare you off." Umeda replied honestly. He added a twist to the up and down motion of his hand and smirked when the blond writhed against him. "Are you gonna come?"

The blond clenched his jaw as his whole body began to wind up tight in impending release. Umeda's free hand slipped around Akiha's hip to worm its way under the blond's boxers and squeeze that soft ass hiding underneath. Akiha's lower half jolted forward in response. His thighs began to jitter as his balls cinched up tight. He was seconds away from coming. Umeda opened his mouth and bit down hard on the blond's throat. Akiha's body stiffened for a second before he came with a yelp, throwing his head back as his mouth fell open. Every nerve in his muscles seemed to be singing its praises to Umeda's touch. His dick pulsed; spilling all over his stomach, pants, and Umeda's hand.

It took a few moments for reality to come back to him. His eyes flickered open and he couldn't remember when they had shut. He saw the other boy watching him with a steely look. Umeda pulled his hand from the blond's pants and wiped the cum on his hand down Akiha's shirt. The blond looked down in disbelief. When he looked back up, Umeda had stepped away and his expression was colder than ever.

"Do you get it now? This is how I am. I'm rude, mean, and an asshole. I'm just out for sex. I'm not the kind for relationships. Certainly not with weird, hyper freshmen puppy dogs like you. So leave me alone. I don't want your attention or whatever your idea of love is." Umeda said fiercely. "The only person I want to love me is Ryoichi. So back off." With that, he flung open the door and stalked out, slamming it shut behind him.

Akiha swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. He'd been fantasizing about what it would feel like to have Umeda touch him. Now he'd had it and it left him feeling cold inside. Not because it hadn't been good—it had been so fucking good—but Umeda had done it out of spite. He stared down at the drying cum on his shirt, his un-zipped pants, and his dick now hanging limp out of his boxers. He looked like a debauched mess. Instead of being happy that he'd gotten his wish, Akiha felt miserable. Umeda didn't want him. His hands clenched into the fabric of his pants covering his thighs. Of course, Umeda didn't want him. No one wanted him…

He forced back his tears as he straightened up his clothes. This feeling was nothing new. The emptiness just felt a little deeper now. He could hide that though, just like he always did. He had to remember why he had to keep going forward. It was for his father. He had to keep smiling for his father.

/

Umeda made it all the way back to his room before the guilty, wretched feeling caught up with him. He sat down heavily in the chair at his desk and stared at the wall in brooding irritation. He'd planned it all out and it had all gone perfectly. He just didn't plan to feel this way when it was all over. He certainly hadn't expected the blond to look like that when he came. He'd been gorgeous—all golden and completely free. It had been the most honest Umeda had ever seen the boy. It was like Umeda had dislodged the mask the blond clutched so tightly as soon as he'd slammed open that classroom door. The blond had been so shocked, babbling and acting panicky. The blond hadn't even tried to stop him. He'd let Umeda touch him without protest. For some reason, all of it had been intoxicating—more so than the sex he'd just shared with Takeo. That was what startled Umeda. He hadn't expected to be so drawn to the real person hiding underneath that mask.

He'd forced himself to say those nasty words as he watched the jaded look cloud over Akiha's face. He was mad at himself for feeling guilty about it. He was mad at himself for even finding the blond attractive for a moment. Sure he was attracted to the people he fucked, but what he felt towards Akiha was on the same level as what he felt for Ryoichi. And he resented that. He only wanted Ryoichi. He shouldn't feel drawn to anyone else—not like that. He had done what was best for all of them. Akiha would get over him. He'd done the blond a favor.

He got up and stomped into the bathroom, intent on taking a shower. He hardly cared that Takeo's spend was beginning to dry on back of his thighs. No, what he needed was to wash the feeling of Akiha off his skin. He switched the hot water onto full blast and hoped to whatever kami it would burn away the guilt, the image of the blond as he came, and the feel of Akiha's dick off his hands.

/

Be a responsible reader and review!

Damn asshole teenage boys. Am I right? Right. LOL! I'm trying to get this story going faster, because I want to get to later chapters. I have so many fun ideas, but the initial start is holding me back. So forgive me if the story seems a little rough. It's gonna smooth out. The characters will settle into themselves as they grow older. Stick with me people! I'll see you all next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4: Victims of Love

**A/N:**I will first apologize profusely for the very long delay. I've been finishing my graphic design degree and dealing with a lot of family issues. They've taken all my attention and killed my inspiration to write for a while. Then my brain got eaten by Batman again, so I had to give into the muse to get it out of my system. Now I'm struggling to ignore the temptation of writing Junjo Romantica fan fiction in order to get my other stories finished.

Now, in order to get this story moving quicker and finished sooner, I will be writing in much larger increments. I've found that I write better that way. So I'm talking huge chunks of chapters. Lol! I'm sure none of you will mind. ^_^ If it starts to go to fast then by all means let me know, but it's probably gonna stay quick paced. This story is going to be long as it is! So longer chapters will help. Thank you readers for you understanding and patience. I will endeavor to update quickly and more regularly.

Big thank you to DeathnoteBliss, who put in such a huge effort in beta reading this and giving me some much needed help in some problem areas. I can not thank her enough for all the work she did.

**Warning:** Teenage sex, cussing (of course)

**Chapter Four**

In the beginning, I tried to warn you  
You play with fire, it's gonna burn you  
And here we are now, same situation  
You never listen, I never listen  
Now I'm thinking of a way that I can make an escape  
It's got me caught up in a web and my heart's the prey  
Do you really wanna throw your heart away, away, away

Everybody's hurt somebody before  
Everybody's been wound by somebody before  
You can change but you'll always come back for more  
It's a game and we're all just victims of love

Don't try to fight it, victims of love  
You can't decide it, victims of love  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Victims of love  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Now you've back tracked  
You're running away 'cause it just happened again and you just want it to end  
You're trying your best not to let yourself go cold, so cold  
Now you think about the things you thought you wanted to say  
But when you open up your mouth it don't come out that way  
Are you really gonna throw your heart away, away, away

Everybody's hurt somebody before  
Everybody's been wound by somebody before  
You can change but you'll always come back for more  
It's a game and we're all just victims of love

Don't try to fight it, victims of love  
You can't decide it, victims of love  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Victims of love  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Victims of love  
-Victoms of Love, By: Good Charlotte

/

The rest of the year slipped by in somewhat of a blur for Akiha. The trips to the garden to visit Umeda ended. He did his best to avoid the other boy as much as possible. He only saw him in the hallways sometimes. He certainly never tried to seek him out anymore. He hadn't thought Umeda hated him like that. What really upset Akiha was that he couldn't get over the other boy. Not even after all the harsh words and the look in Umeda's eyes when he'd left Akiha in that classroom. Umeda had still been beautiful to him even then. He could still picture every moment of Umeda's hand on him. He'd beat off so many times just thinking about it. None if that, however, could change the fact that he now felt more unlovable. The void in him felt darker and colder. None of his 'friends' seemed to notice how deeply hurt he was feeling. As long as he smiled, they didn't notice. As long as they didn't notice, they stayed beside him; he needed them to stay beside him.

Summer came upon him faster than he'd anticipated. Suddenly, he found himself back in his room at his Dad's house. There were no friends to forget his troubles with for a little while. The world closed in darker around him. His dad was too busy to notice. He worked long hours every day to pay the bills, leaving Akiha alone to do as he pleased which meant there was no one around to help him or see how hurt he truly was inside. So he just stayed curled in his bed as the summer drifted away.

"Hey, Akiha," his father knocked on Akiha's door one late afternoon, momentarily breaking the blond out of his funk. Akiha was a little surprised to see his dad. He hadn't heard him come back from work and he hadn't been expecting his dad to be back early. He got along very well with his dad, but the man had been very busy with work lately. "May I come in?"

"Sure, dad," Akiha sat up from where he'd been lying on his bed.

"Look, your finals scores came in the mail and so did your year book. Do you mind if I look at them with you?" His dad asked with a smile.

Akiha sat up and forced a bright smile. His father looked happy. It always lightened his heart when his father was near him. Maybe it was because his father's smile was still so honest. Even after being abandoned and now having to work so hard on his own to take care of Akiha, the man could still smile like there was nothing wrong in the world—like Akiha was his light. "Sure, dad," he said, his smile becoming sincere.

"Your grades are really impressive, son. You must have worked very hard." His father praised.

Akiha felt the darkness in him recede a little further. "It was tough. My English classes were really difficult."

They poured through the yearbook together. Akiha regaled his father with all kinds of tales about school, and brightened when his father laughed at his stories.

"Osaka must be a wonderful school. I always wanted to go there myself. I'm so proud that you can attend." His father said, looking at the picture of the campus. He flipped the page. "Wow, you took this picture?"

Akiha looked down at the book to see his picture of the gardens printed on the page his father was pointing at. "Yeah. The photography club submits photos to the yearbook club and then they decide which ones to use. We never know which ones get chosen until we get a copy of the book."

"Look, there's more of your pictures. These are wonderful! You really have a talent here, son," his father beamed as he flipped through the pictures. "You know, if you like taking pictures so much, maybe you should be a photographer."

"Thanks, Dad. I was thinking about maybe doing that," Akiha was so pleased. He would never take for granted the fact that his father let him pursue his passions or wanted Akiha to choose his own way in life. His father didn't think the same way as a lot of Japanese fathers. Mr. Hara had been raised in England most of his life. He had a more westernized thought process than most Japanese fathers. Akiha's friends were always amazed at how laid back and cool Mr. Hara was about the things Akiha did.

When they finished looking through the book, his dad set aside on his desk and sighed. "Akiha," the man said soberly. "I know things have been difficult for you. I'm sorry I can't be around more to help you more. I appreciate all the work you do around the house though. I'm always grateful when I come home and see the place so clean."

"No, Dad, you're doing the best you can. You work so hard to let me go to Osaka," The smile slipped off Akiha's face.

"Thank you. I really am very proud of you. I couldn't have asked for a better son," his father reached out to grip his son's arm tightly. "Don't let the bad things in life destroy your happiness. You're going to be someone great someday. Don't give up on yourself. I think you're a stronger person than you give yourself credit for. And, no matter what, I'll always be proud of you. So do your best, too."

Akiha felt like crying. He was too old to cry on his dad's shoulder. How could he have thought that his father didn't notice he was hurting? He put his arms around his father's shoulders and hugged hard. "Thanks, Dad. I'm gonna work hard. Someday I'll be someone amazing, so you can be even more proud of me."

His father hugged back briefly before getting up. "You keep fighting for what you want, son." He smiled and left the room, closing the door carefully behind him.

Akiha touched the yearbook on the desk. He resolved to do better. He would continue to smile. He'd continue to make his father proud. No matter what, he had to keep doing his best for his father. He wanted to be just like his dad and work hard for everything he got in life. He wasn't going to stop smiling just because things got tough. He wasn't going to let a broken heart stop him either. He'd show Umeda when he got back to school that he was not beaten. Umeda might have rejected him before, but Akiha was determined now to win him over. This was not the end of the fight for love for Akiha Hara! When school started back up again, Umeda better watch out!

/

Summer went by far too fast for Umeda's taste. He'd enjoyed almost every minute of it. He'd gotten to hang out with Ryoichi, which gave him an excuse to stay away from his home. His family had taken a vacation to the beach for a week. He'd had a brief fling with a very cute boy, while on that vacation. His sister, Io, had been gone with her husband and son most of the summer. So he hadn't needed to deal with her bullshit. The only thing that had dragged his summer was down was Akiha. Even away from school, he could not get that incident with the blond out of his head. He'd done his best to ignore his still guilty conscious though. So yes, it had been a pretty good summer over all.

He certainly wasn't overly thrilled to go back to school. It was senior year now. The pressure was on to get perfect grades, apply to top colleges, and get accepted somewhere his father could actually pay for. However, the big decision of the year was going to be deciding what the hell he wanted to do with himself. He had no desire what so ever to be part of the family business. Io's husband had already pretty much taken over what would have been Umeda's position anyways. He knew his father would kill him if he even mentioned that he had no idea what career he wanted to pursue on top of not wanting to be part of the family business. It wasn't like Umeda had been stalling. He'd been trying to figure it out since he started high school. The only thing he seemed to have a real passion for was writing, and he was not going to be a starving writer. He liked expense things and to live comfortably. So if writing for a living was out then what was he supposed to do? He hoped he got inspired this year, because college was going to be upon him before he was ready. He just knew it.

While he was contemplating all this, he wasn't really paying attention to where he was going. He knew instinctively which classroom he was aiming for. He'd been at this school for two years now. He knew the whole thing inside and out. That didn't mean he was really seeing what was in front of him. So he was a little shocked when he walked right into someone and knocked them into some lockers. He stumbled sideways before regaining his balance and turning to see who he'd accidently run into.

"I'm sor-," he started and nearly swallowed his tongue when he saw who he was talking to. The boy in front of him was very familiar except he'd grown like 4 inches. "Hara?" He gapped at the blond haired boy in front of him.

"Hi, Umeda-sempai!" Hara chirped with a bright smile.

Umeda was still trying to get over the fact that he now had to tilt his head slightly up to look into Akiha's face to be annoyed by the fake cheer. "Hi." He managed to get out. The boy had been cute before, but now he was rapidly turning into a beautiful young man. How'd that happen? Summer always seemed to cause changes in what felt like almost overnight, but this was crazy.

"How was your summer, sempai?" Hara asked brightly. He looked so happy to see Umeda that it was starting to freak him out.

"It was good," he replied distractedly. He was staring at the blond hair that was hanging in front of those big ginger colored eyes. Dammit, how in the world could he be attracted to this irritating twit? "How was yours?"

Something dark passed through Akiha's eyes before the boy could hide it. His smile stayed in place though. "It was fine."

Umeda scowled just a little. It came back, oh so clearly, why he couldn't stand this boy. His mask was more seamless than before, but Umeda could still see through it. He was still a fake. "Ok, well I gotta go to class."

"Right. Me too. I'm glad I got to see you, sempai," Hara said sincerely. For a moment, Umeda saw the real Akiha looking at him. Those eyes looking at him now were soft and warm. He was truly happy to see Umeda. In that instant, he was even more beautiful in his sincerity.

Umeda blinked. "Yeah, later." He turned away and hurried towards his home room.

/

Ryoichi stood at the front of the class at the end of the day. He was president of their class yet again. It was almost unheard of for a student to retain this status for more than a year, yet the entire class had been unanimous in re-electing him. Umeda, to his dismay, had also retained his status as Vice President despite his vehement protest. Sure, he'd enjoyed last year's involvement in activities, but this was high school. He didn't feel like being that responsible for another year, especially during senior year. Umeda shoved those annoying thoughts aside as he listened to what his best friend had to say.

"Welcome back, everyone," Ryoichi smiled easily. "It's good to see you guys back after the summer. Thanks for re-electing me to be your class president along with Umeda as my vice president. Now, onto business…RA dorm election night is this Saturday. You can vote for any senior in your dorm to have this "privilege" (the boys all snickered). Of course the senior with the most votes wins. So choose wisely. Don't just pick someone you like. Pick someone you think will be fair, responsible, and can take care of any issues that occur. You don't have to be present when the RAs are elected, but it is highly encouraged. Which means you all better be there." He smiled again before starting towards his seat. He paused on the other side of the teacher's desk. "Oh, and don't vote for me. I've got enough to do without adding that to my list of duties." There were several groans at that.

Umeda rolled his eyes as Ryoichi sat down beside him. "Don't vote for you, huh? You knew they were all going to."

"Of course." Ryoichi smirked. "With any luck, now they'll all vote for you."

"Don't curse me like that. I've got enough shit on my mind too without having to worry about someone's toilet backing up at 3am." Umeda grumbled, propping his chin up on his fist. "Not to mention, that the kohai always pester the shit out of the RA, because they feel like the RA knows everything. I am not going to answer all their stupid questions. I have better things to do with my time."

"Hey, dorm RA is an honorable job. It looks good on college applications." Ryoichi's smile got a little more sarcastic.

Umeda narrowed his eyes. "No."

"It's up to the people, Umeda." The black haired boy said loftily.

Umeda already had a feeling he was screwed.

/

It turned out he was right on that subject. For a brief moment, after the voting was tallied and it was concluded that Umeda Hokuto would be the new RA dorm 2, the boy wanted to choke the life out of Ryoichi. Especially when his friend gave him that damned smug 'I knew it' look. What he really wanted to do was smack every asshole that had voted for him. However, with the shouts of 'speech, speech, speech!' growing louder and more demanding by the moment, he was forced to stand to acknowledge the dunderheads he wanted to hurt.

"First of all, I am not at all grateful that you elected me to this task," he snapped irritably. To his annoyance, this announcement only caused laughter and more cheering. "If you come to me with a problem it damn well better be legitimate. I am not putting up with any petty crap you can deal with on your own! If you do have a serious issue though, please come see me…it better be life threatening though. I'll try my best to be honest, fair, and look after the members of this dorm like a responsible RA is expected to." He scowled at end and crossed his arms over his chest as the rest of boys erupted into more cheering. Obviously, his dire threats didn't have the intended impact he had hoped for. He sighed. It was going to be a trying year.

Ryoichi draped his arm around his friend's shoulder as he steered Umeda out of the cafeteria and down the hall. "Good job, Umeda. I think you only succeeded in making them more pleased with themselves for voting you into the very honorable RA position."

"I'm sure you had nothing to do with influencing them in their choice," Umeda muttered darkly.

"You'll do a great job. There was no other senior worthy of the task," the dark haired boy replied easily.

"Stop trying to butter me up. I can definitely think of someone who was far more suited to the task," the other boy leveled his piercing amber eyes at his friend. Unfortunately, Ryoichi was one of the few people who was unaffected by that intense gaze.

Ryoichi shrugged. "I doubt it." He stopped walking in front of the first door in the downstairs hallway of dorm three. He reached out and with a flick of his wrist, snapped the door open. "On the upside, the RA gets the biggest room in the dorm…all to himself."

Umeda looked unimpressed. "Every senior gets their own room so they can study for entrance exams in peace."

"Yes, but those rooms are half the size of the normal dorm rooms. Yours is not. You also get a full sized bathroom unlike the rest of us poor students. So enjoy your RA duties. They come with some good perks." Ryoichi smirked, shoving his friend through the door. "Your minions, I mean the kohai, have already brought in your luggage."

Umeda couldn't help the smile that snuck out at the edges of his mouth when Ryoichi said that. "You make some valid points."

"Well, you enjoy your new room. I have homework to get done." Ryoichi pulled the door shut behind the other boy.

Umeda listened to his friend's footsteps disappear down the hall. He looked around the room and smiled in satisfaction. Maybe RA was worth it just to have a room that was twice as big as his own back home. The room was set up with a single twin bed in the right back corner, a night stand (holy crap, his own nightstand!) next to it, across from the bed was a desk with a chair and bookshelf, and to his immediate right was a dresser. To the left, there was a door that he knew led to the bathroom. It was so awesome to think that he wouldn't have to share any of this space with another student. It was all his…

_Yeah, maybe not so bad after all_.

/

It was the first official Photography club meeting of the new school year. Akiha was very excited to be part of the club again. Thanks to Umeda's advice, he had joined last year even though he was a little late. He'd made a lot of friends in the club; people he felt that he could really connect with beyond just school work and sports. It was great to be back amongst his friends and in a place he could expand his creativity. After the talk with his dad during the summer, Akiha had become even more attached to his camera. Taking pictures had quickly become more than just capturing beauty. It had become his emotional outlet, his sanctuary, and his inspiration for living. His pictures had taken on a new style and passion. They didn't just capture beauty now, they captured the emotions of the moment. Anyone could pick up a camera and take a good picture. A photographer made the person feel just by looking at their picture. Akiha wanted to be that kind of photographer. He'd found his calling, and it was all thanks to his dad and Umeda.

"Alright, first order of business." the advising teacher, Hiroshi-sensei, announced. "We need to elect a new President. Since Souh-sempai graduated last year, this position has come open. All the other positions will remain the same since someone wants to contest them. We need to appoint a new person who will be responsible and capable of handling the duties required of the club president. I'll hand out some blank pieces of paper, and we'll do this the old fashioned way. Whoever has the most votes is the new president.

While he papers were passed around, several moments of silence passed. The group scribbled down their choice, and then all the papers were collected back up. Casual chatting broke out as they all waited for Hiroshi-sensei to tally the votes, but Akiha didn't join in with the chatter. He was too anxious to find out who had won.

"Ok, everyone! Listen up!" Hiroshi-sensei silenced them. "Your new president is…Hara Akiha!"

Akiha stared in shock as everyone began to clap and a few cheered. "Me? Really?"

"Sure!" His friend, Taki, grinned. "You're the best photographer in the club. You'll make a great president."

Akiha flushed at the compliment. He stood up and bowed politely. "Thank you for the votes of confidence. I'll do my best to fulfill all the duties as president as best as I can."

More clapping and cheering ensued.

"Alright! Alright!" Hiroshi-sensei got them back under control. "Now, President Hara, it's up to you to take care of the club. Go ahead…"

Akiha walked to the front of the classroom. "Well, first, I'd like to make a suggestion." He cleared his throat as all eyes focused on him more intently. He buried his nerves under a bright smile, and was relieved to find himself calming down. "I think all of us should pick a club, activity, or sport to be in charge of for taking pictures. I noticed in last year's yearbook that some of the clubs or activities didn't get photographed because of lack of interest. So I think it's only fair that we cover everything so that the yearbook committee has a better variety of pictures to choose from."

"That's a great idea!"

"I like it!"

"I want to photograph the kendo club!"

Akiha was a little surprised by the amount of approval his proposal was given. He was a little relieved when the vice president, Isao-sempai, stepped in.

"I'll make a list of all the clubs, sports, and activities that need to be covered. I think major events like the spring festival can be covered by all of us. I'll have the list created for the next meeting. You can put your name down next to what sport or activity you would like to cover. If there's more than one name in a section, the choice will go to the senior individual." Isao-sempai said.

"Thank you, Isao-sempai." Akiha sighed gratefully. This job was gonna be harder than he thought. "I also think it would be best if we all take turns so no one gets stuck photographing something they don't like for very long. It'll give each of us a chance to develop our skills in a new environment throughout the year."

"How often will we switch?" One of the kohai asked.

"I suppose we could vote on that…," Akiha suggested.

"I'll come up with a list of possible time lines for the next meeting too. We can vote on it then as well," Isao scribbled down some notes in his binder.

"Ok," Akiha smiled. "Let's make this a great year of photography! I'm looking forward to working with all of you!" He just hoped he would be good at this president job.

/

The next Photography club meeting came and went, with little incident. After all the voting had been accomplished, the assignments were delegated and the time limit established. Each student was given a club, activity, or function to be in charge of photographing for a month. At the end of the month, they all would rotate to a different area. It kept things balanced and it made everyone happy. It made Akiha particularly happy when he found out that he was going to be in charge of track and field, long distance running, and soccer. He didn't particularly care for sports. No, what he was excited about was finding out that Umeda had joined the track team. Now he could watch his sempai all the time at practice and have a good excuse to do so.

So here, Akiha sat on the side lines of the track watching his beloved sempai run. He knew the boy didn't care for track, but he seemed to at least be giving it some effort. For that, he was sure Ryoichi was the cause. Whatever the reason, the blond was just happy to see Umeda in motion. His sempai looked beautiful with his hair fanned out in the breeze. He ran with a quick grace that no other boy on the team could emulate. Umeda was fast, too. If he wanted, he could beat them all. He looked like he might take flight at any moment.

The blond held the camera ready in his hands. He wanted to capture the other boy even if only in a camera frame. He wanted to be able to look at it over and over again to relive this breathless moment of watching Umeda run. He waited until the other boy came around the turn. He put the camera up and focused in. He paused with his finger over the trigger until he knew the moment was right. Umeda drew closer and came in better focus. His face was relaxed, even content. He looked free.

The shutter clicked again and again and again. It was only seconds in a moment, but Akiha had captured those feelings in Umeda. He knew it. He could almost feel it in the film inside the camera. He felt a sense of accomplishment and awe. It was his first real taste of what it felt like to capture true emotion on film. He'd been trying for months to do exactly what he'd just done. All it had taken was his own emotions for Umeda pouring through the lens to capture the emotion in his sempai. It was the birth of his true passion for photography. Even then he knew what he felt was something significant that would shape the rest of his life. What he hadn't quite figured out yet was that it took love for his photographs to be truly heart wrenching.

Umeda had always hated running, but he'd been somewhat forced into joining the track team. Ryoichi was on the team and had been tired of his friend's lazy attitude about everything. So Ryoichi had coerced Umeda into joining the team, despite all of the other responsibilities Umeda had on his plate at the moment. Honestly, the amber-eyed boy could have killed his friend if it hadn't been for the fact that he loved Ryoichi so damn much. He supposed the upside to running was that it gave him something else to focus on for a while besides all the varying school pressures weighing down on him. He was focused on the pain in his struggling lungs and burning muscles. That was the part he hated about running. He was not a fan of things that hurt, but once he caught that runner's high, he began to enjoy himself a little. He got lost in the repetition of his feet hitting pavement, trying to time his breathing just right, and feeling the wind against his body.

He didn't even notice Akiha had been photographing him until after practice was over and he started walking back to the locker rooms. When he saw the blond pointing his camera at him, he stopped in his tracks. He had hoped that the incident last year had chased the blond off. Apparently not. He sighed, before walking over to where the blond was sitting.

"I thought I told you to take pictures of other things besides me," Umeda remarked sourly.

Akiha smiled cheerfully up at him. "I am. You just happened to walk in front of my lens." It wasn't a total lie…

"What are you doing out here anyways? Aren't you part of a club or something?" Umeda asked curiously.

"I'm out here for my club. The Photography club is taking pictures of all the clubs, sports, and activities for the yearbook committee. I assigned each of us a different activity. I happened to get track, soccer, and long distance running." Akiha explained easily. He was so happy to be talking to his sempai again. He'd thought Umeda would never want to speak to him again. Yet, his sempai had been the one to come over and the first to start talking.

"You assigned?" Umeda blinked in bemusement.

"I'm the club president now!" Akiha chirped proudly.

"Wow," Umeda said before he could stop himself. "Well…uh congratulations, I guess."

Akiha's smiled suddenly became genuinely happy. "Thank you, sempai. I heard you were made RA for dorm 2. Congratulations."

The older boy was a little stunned by the sincerity of the blond's smile. It made the blond's ginger colored eyes even warmer and more unguarded. He had to force himself to concentrate enough to form an answer. "Thanks. Just remember to take pictures of other people besides me, Mr. Photography Club President."

"I will."

"Right. Well, see yah later, Hara." Umeda turned away.

"Bye, Umeda-sempai." Akiha practically crooned happily at his back. In less than two weeks, Umeda had talked to him twice now. Akiha was pleased with those results. So far, this year was shaping up to be pretty great.

/

Umeda knew he shouldn't have been so optimistic about the school year so soon, but everything had been going pretty well so far. His RA duties weren't nearly as taxing as he had feared. He'd had relatively few issues to deal with as an RA thus far. His classes were going very well and he was making good grades. His test scores so far for college entrance exams were high. Running wasn't as horrible as he'd envisioned. That didn't mean he cared for it though. It just wasn't killing him like he'd suspected it would. So all in all, it had been smooth sailing.

_Which_ _was why some higher power had to throw a wrench in the system and screw it all up!,_ Umeda thought irritably.

"I was given some rather unfortunate news," Umeda said to the residents of Dorm 2 as they all sat crammed in the day room. They were waiting to find out what was so damn important that they all had to be assembled here to hear it. "Apparently, the heaters in Dorm 3 have stopped working. The mechanic has been unable to find the source of the issue. The school has decided that since Dorm 3 heaters need repaired that they are going to go ahead and do the rest of the dorm renovations as well, instead of waiting until summer like they'd planned. So until Dorm 3 is fixed, those students will be sharing rooms with the other two dorms. That means all of you will have another new room mate for the time being."

All the students groaned.

"Yeah, I know! I'm not pleased either! I've no idea how long this situation is gonna last, so don't ask!" Umeda snapped, cutting off the questions before they started. "Also, the RAs are not allowed to choose who goes into which room. The principal decides for us. Something about not wanting there to be any favoritism or some shit like that."

More groans followed.

"If you have any serious issues with who is being put in your room, come contact me. I will get the issue resolved," he finished explaining before holding a list aloft. "I'll be posting the new room mate list on the bulletin board. Please review it carefully. Your new room mate will be moving in tonight so be prepared. That means clean up your disgusting excuses for dorm rooms! Especially Takashima! That filth will not be tolerated!" He glared at the boy he'd called out in front of everyone until the poor kid practically melted under his evil stare.

Umeda pinned the list to the board then got out of the way as quickly as possible. He still narrowly missed getting run over by over eager students. He went to stand beside Ryoichi. The dark haired boy was smirking at his friend's angry scowl.

"You're in a bad mood," Ryoichi remarked.

Umeda's scowl deepened.

"Got paired with someone you don't like?"

"Yes," Umeda growled. He shifted his gaze sideways to see his friend's knowing smile.

"Hara?"

"Yeah."

"Seems like fate's conspiring against you." Ryoichi chuckled.

"I'm having him moved to a different room." Umeda said flatly.

Ryoichi looked unconvinced. "What are you gonna use as an excuse? You know the principal's not gonna buy the 'I just don't like him' line." The dark haired boy pointed out.

Umeda grit his teeth. He really had no good excuse. He just didn't want to be stuck in a room with Hara. There were to many feelings and weird shit between them. It'd be awkward at best and severely uncomfortable at the worst. He didn't want to deal with this situation on top of everything else. Dammit, he hated when Ryoichi was right about things.

"I think someone's trying to tell you to deal with the situation instead of running away from it," Umeda's friend smiled, patting the boy on the arm.

This was gonna suck. Umeda just knew it.

/

Umeda opened the door to his dorm room to see Hara standing out in the hall, holding his bags. He looked up and blushed when he caught Umeda's gaze. The older boy was struck again by just how beautiful the blond had become over the summer. That in itself was a problem. It did Umeda no good to be lusting after a kid he was trying to chase off; a kid that was very obviously not taking the hint. So it was incredibly counterproductive to be feeling any kind of sexual desire towards Hara.

"Well, come in," Umeda snapped, jerking his thumb towards the inside of the room.

"Thank you for letting me stay here with you, sempai," Akiha replied gratefully as he dragged his futon and suitcase with him.

Umeda bit back a lot of harsh words. It wasn't Akiha's fault that he'd been assigned to Umeda's room. It was not in his nature to be cruel with his words; blunt, sarcastic, tactless, and sometimes mean, but never cruel. Only Akiha, seemed to make cruel words jump to the top of Umeda's tongue. He didn't know why. It felt something like self defense or denial. There were to many mixed up emotions where Akiha was concerned. That just irritated Umeda even more.

"I made space for you over here," Umeda pointed to directly behind his bed. "I cleared out the bottom two drawers in the dresser and some space in the closet for your clothes."

Akiha looked surprised by that. "Thank you."

"The desk is mine. If you wanna study, sit on your bed or use the day room. You can put your suitcase under my bed for now since there's no where else it will fit," Umeda grumbled.

"Sempai…"

"Yes?"

"I really do want to thank you for letting me stay with you. I know you…don't like me," Akiha felt acid burn the back of his throat as he said that.

Memories of that time in the classrooms arose in both their minds. They stood there awkwardly, trying to figure out a way break this new tension.

"Look, let's not make this weird," Umeda said suddenly.

"Weird how, sempai?" Akiha smiled brightly.

"You know what I'm talking about," the older boy scowled.

The blond just continued to smile, though it almost hurt to do so. "Ok, sempai."

The older boy growled irritably. "Get this straight. If you bother me at all, I will kick you outta here. You can sleep in the hall for all I care."

"Got it!"

Umeda knew he'd been right. This was going to suck. "And that fake attitude isn't going to work on me."

"What attitude?" Akiha's mask faltered for a split second.

The older boy's scowl just deepened. He spun away to go sit at his desk. "Whatever. If you wanna be thought of as an idiot be my guest. I'm gonna study."

Akiha frowned at his sempai's back. How the hell did Umeda know it was an act? He thought his mask was perfect. No one had ever seen through his mask before, not even his closest friends. He should have known better than to underestimate Umeda's perceptive nature. The boy had after all been the one to inspire him joining the photography club. It scared Akiha a little. What else could his sempai figure out about him? Now he was more nervous about living with Umeda. How was he supposed to guard the darkness in his heart and the mask from the older boy's perception? How was he supposed to make Umeda love him if the other boy saw the ugliness in his soul?

He swallowed hard before slowly beginning to set up his futon and put his clothes away. He'd just have to do his best to maintain his mask. Somehow, he'd make Umeda love him. He couldn't give up, even when he was afraid. After all, if he wanted Umeda to love him shouldn't Umeda love all of him, even the tarnished parts? Akiha would keep trying to make Umeda understand his feelings. He had to be strong. He had to keep smiling…

/

Akiha was once again at the track taking pictures of the sports clubs. Umeda had since given up trying to find some way to chase the blond off. Akiha was not bothered by the older boy's glare. Umeda decided it was best just to put up with the attention and picture taking. From what Akiha had told him, the club members would all be rotating positions at the end of the month. He could hold out until the end of the month. He wished there was an end date in sight for when Akiha would be moving back to dorm 1. How long did it take to repair a dorm? It'd been a week already! He sighed as he ran, irritated by his inability to let go of this stuff even while doing something that normally wiped his mind clean. Why was he letting this kid get to him so much?

The rest of practice slipped by before Umeda realized it. He'd been to lost in his thoughts to pay attention to the time. He went through the motions of showering in the locker room, changing clothes, and waving good bye to the other club members. He wasn't at all surprised to see Akiha still sitting on the sidelines where he'd been the entire practice. His camera was packed away now. He just sat there with his hands folded in his lap, waiting patiently. Umeda grumbled under his breath in irritation. This kid just couldn't take a hint…

"Can I walk back with you, Sempai?" Akiha asked guilelessly when Umeda was close enough.

Umeda sighed tiredly. "I can't really say no. We're sharing the same room. It'd just look weird if you're trailing behind me like some oversized puppy." He blinked, nearly blinded by the younger boy's delighted grin. Fuck, he thought, why does this kid have to be so damn beautiful?

He didn't see the looks the other boys were giving them as he and Akiha walked back to the dorm. He was trying to hard to ignore how close Akiha was walking to him. He glanced side long at the blond, who was practically glowing with happiness. He was probably letting the blond get away with too much and leading on when he really didn't want to. He could only say no so many times to someone who wouldn't listen before just giving up and bearing it. It was only until the other dorm was fixed. Then there would be no more walks back together, and no more awkward silences in his room.

/

Umeda was too wrapped up in school work to realize what the other boys were whispering about him. They stopped whenever he looked up, switching subjects whenever he seemed to be taking interest in their conversation. He didn't really care. It was probably just another dumb rumor or hype over another dumb anime. Umeda didn't have the time to get involved in such petty nonsense. College exams were looming ever closer. Every weekend he went home his father was breathing down his neck about colleges and career choices. He was just too stressed to notice that he had become the subject of the latest rumor.

He didn't really start to notice things were off until he tried to get one of his regular fuck buddies to sleep with him and got turned down. That started to clue him in that something was off. No one turned down sleeping with Umeda if they strayed off the heterosexual path and he came onto them. That was somewhat worrying, but his current situation was even more aggravating.

Umeda puffed out a cloud of cigarette smoke in irritation. There's nothing quite so frustrating as being right next to the person he loved and not being able to do anything; not touching, not kissing, not anything. It didn't matter that he was sitting close enough for their shoulders to touch if he just leaned a little bit closer. It felt like he was a million miles away from Ryoichi. He could look over into his eyes and see nothing of the feelings he hid inside himself reflected back at him. It made him want to cry, rage out at the unfairness, or want to blurt his true feelings just to see if that look would change at all. Instead, he clenched his fists, half crushing his cigarette, and pretending to ignore the ball of hurt that had settled in his chest.

It'd been over a week since the last time they'd really gotten to hang out. Between classes, club activities, studying and homework, and trying to dodge Akiha, Ryoichi and Umeda barely got to see each other, but Umeda had finally had enough. He needed to see his best friend. He'd gone to Ryoichi's room, practically kicked the door down, and dragged his friend up to the roof for a smoke break. Yet, even having gone through all this trouble to get Ryoichi alone, the boy had yet to say a word to Umeda. Honestly, Umeda wondered sometimes why he even loved this jack ass, who gave him so little regard.

"So how are things going with your boyfriend?" Ryoichi finally spoke up. His irritating smirk made Umeda want to punch him.

"He is not my boyfriend. I'm about to go beg the principal to switch rooms. He's driving me crazy. Even when I'm trying to study I can feel his stupid eyes on my back giving me that damn puppy love look." Umeda snapped, annoyed that when his friend finally did decide to talk it was about a subject he was trying to get away from.

"You know for someone who doesn't even like that guy, you sure let him hang around you a lot," Ryoichi's smirked widened knowingly. "Even walking back to the dorm together…?"

Umeda glared. "I do not. He just follows me everywhere. And I can't help that we both share a room so walking back together just happens."

"Sure, Umeda. I thought I'd just let you know that there's a rumor going around that you guys are dating…" The dark haired boy's smirk turned more amused.

"What!" Umeda practically yelled.

Ryoichi shrugged.

"Oh, that's it! This shit needs to stop! I do not like him! Why does everyone keep forcing their opinions about him on to me!" Umeda stomped off ranting furiously.

Ryoichi watched his friend go with a grin. "You're not fooling anyone." He muttered to himself before heading back to his own room. Now he could go finish studying in peace…

/

Umeda stomped all the way back down to his room and flung the door open with a bang. Akiha jumped up from his futon, dropping his book in fright. He saw the look on Umeda's face and cringed back. The last time Umeda had directed that angry look at him, he'd jerked Akiha off against the a classroom wall and left him stricken in the wake of cruel words. He swallowed hard, but forced a cheery smile.

"Hi, sempai. What's the matter?" Akiha hid his hands behind his back to hide their shaking.

Umeda swung the door shut and stomped over to the blond. "I was just told that there is a rumor that we are dating."

"Really?" Akiha looked surprised and somewhat pleased. If only it were really true.

"Yeah, really. Apparently, you hanging around me all the time is making them think we're together. No wonder I haven't been able to get laid lately! These stupid rumors are chasing people off who might be interested in me!" Umeda snapped angrily.

Akiha didn't look at all upset about that. In fact, he looked even more pleased. If people thought of them as a real couple maybe Umeda would change his mind. Maybe the older boy would see what everyone else saw; that they made a good couple and should be together.

"Stop following me around! You're giving everyone the wrong idea about us!" Umeda growled. "I've got a reputation to keep up and you're ruining it!"

Akiha looked wounded. "But I want to be with you, Sempai. I love you."

Umeda glared at him. The blond looked sad and pathetic. Even so, Umeda still thought he was cute. It would be so much easier if the kid was ugly. The problem was that Umeda really did find him attractive. He wasn't at all adverse to the idea of kissing or touching Akiha. It was the love part that Akiha wanted from him that turned him off. That and the blond was so frustratingly annoying with that act he pulled! He drove Umeda crazy!

"Can't you try to love me?" Akiha asked, naively hopeful.

"I already told you I'm in love with Ryoichi." Umeda reminded the blond, turning away. He suddenly felt really drained and tired.

Akiha's hand snagged the older boy's sleeve. "Please, sempai?" He hated how desperate he sounded. "Just kiss me one time. Maybe that will change your mind."

"I really doubt it," Umeda said harshly, glaring over his shoulder.

"Please," Akiha whispered. "I just want to know what it's like to kiss someone I love."

Umeda couldn't really begrudge the blond those kinds of feelings. After all, he at least knew what Ryoichi's mouth tasted like, even if he never got to feel it again. Kissing Akiha was a bad idea though. Umeda hadn't been able to get laid since the blond had moved into his room. He'd barely gotten the chance to beat off either. He was sex deprived. Kissing this kid, who he found attractive, was a dangerous idea. He'd lost his morals towards sex long ago. He knew if he liked kissing Akiha, it could very easily turn into something else. It was the something else that might lead Akiha on, even if all the older boy wanted was a good orgasm. Umeda definitely didn't want to give the blond a reason to hope.

Akiha's hand tightened on his sleeve and the blond shifted closer. His eyes were bright, and so very earnest.

"Dammit," he cursed, because he was weak and the blond was too damn beautiful to resist right now. Not with his big ginger eyes pleading at him like that. He leaned over and brushed his mouth across Akiha's lips.

The first touch of Umeda's lips surprised Akiha. He'd been dreaming of this moment for over a year now. Now, that it was happening it felt like nothing he'd ever imagined. It was like his world, that had been skewed sideways, was suddenly righted. Akiha's whole body felt molten hot. It was like the air had been sucked right from his lungs, but he didn't care. It was everything he'd dreamed and nothing like it all at once. He found his fingers suddenly buried in silk fine mahogany hair. He groaned at the softness under his fingers and on his mouth.

For Umeda, what should have been just a simple kiss had warped into one of pure intensity and lust. He hadn't meant for that to happen. He certainly hadn't wanted to feel this way, not for Akiha anyways. He had known better than to tempt himself. He just couldn't stop himself from slanting his mouth against the blond's and deepening the kiss. Akiha's mouth opened so eagerly to Umeda. The boy tasted like something pure, yet dark at the same time. It was the weirdest, most intoxicating taste he'd ever encountered. His brain tried to dredge up anything that might compare: sunshine after a thunderstorm or honey with bitter black tea. He wasn't sure, but he wanted more of it. He swept his tongue further into the blond's mouth and couldn't stifle the moan that escaped him. The flavor was almost overwhelming.

Umeda finally broke the kiss and they both gasped hard, trying to recover from the ferocity that had overtaken that kiss. Akiha looked dazed, like he'd been sucker punched. Umeda's own brain was more than hazy with lust. The blond had tasted good; much better than Umeda had ever expected. One taste suddenly seemed like a tease. His cock was already hard in his pants.

_Fuck it_, he thought. It didn't really matter that he didn't like Akiha. What he wanted right in that moment was the blond naked and underneath him. He wasn't one to pass up fleeting desires. He liked to live in the moment. So he if he wanted Akiha right now, he was going to have him. The afterwards didn't matter. Consequences be damned.

Umeda shoved the blond up against the wall and pressed in close. He reached over to flick the lock shut on the door. The last thing he wanted was anyone walking in on what was about to happen and making the rumor mill that much worse.

"W-wait, what?" Akiha gasped in befuddled surprise.

"Just go with it," Umeda growled, before kissing Akiha hard.

The blond moaned as his sempai continued to kiss him; although this time with more teeth and tongue. Akiha tried to keep up with Umeda, but the sensations were quickly becoming overwhelming. He'd dreamed of his sempai doing this to him. Reality was just ten times more intense. Umeda was like kissing fire, scorching hot and burning down his defenses. Akiha arched instinctively into the older boy's body, needing desperately to get closer and feel more. The two groaned when their erections rubbed against each other. Umeda's hands were suddenly on Akiha's belt. He ripped furiously at it, needing to feel the blond's dick in his hand again.

Akiha was too shocked to even protest. His hands were gripping white knuckled into Umeda's school sweater. His knees nearly gave out when his sempai's hand closed around his swollen cock. He whined in the back of his throat as that hand stroked him from root to tip while Umeda bit Akiha's lip and sucked hard. The blond couldn't stop himself from bucking his hips into that tight grip and moaning shamelessly. Umeda's mouth left his to work down the blond's neck, nipping and laving wet kisses over his skin.

The blond felt like his heart was setting a speed record. His brain felt foggy from pleasure. It was just so surreal that his crush was actually doing this stuff to him. He wasn't dreaming. This wasn't just another fantasy he wanked off to. This was so very real. Oh, and that thing Umeda's hand was doing to the head of his cock felt way too wonderful to be make believe. Where had this guy learned these techniques?

Umeda was getting lost in Akiha's honest reactions. He'd never felt more turned on then he did right now. Maybe it was the forced celibacy or that Akiha's mask was finally stripped away, that was driving Umeda crazy. He'd never seen the blond act this open or sincere except in brief moments. It was enthralling knowing that his touch was the one breaking through the blond's shell, leaving him vulnerable like this. He wanted to see what other noises and faces Akiha would make. For the first time in his sex life, Umeda wanted to be inside someone instead of being the one taken.

Umeda straightened up and looked seriously at the blond. "I wanna fuck you."

"W-what?" Akiha gapped, barely able to comprehend what Umeda had just said. Then it clicked. His eyes went wide. This was all so new to him. No one had ever kissed him before and only Umeda had ever touched him like this. He had no experience with sex at all. And now, Umeda wanted to have sex? That meant his cock inside of Akiha. The blond swallowed hard. He'd dreamed of it. He wanted to try it. He wanted to know what it really felt like to be taken that way. "Ok," he consented. This might be his only shot with Umeda. If he let the older boy have his body would he finally be able to accept Akiha's feelings?

"Have you ever done this?" Umeda asked seriously.

Akiha shook his head. "No."

Umdea grinned wolfishly. Akiha's heart thudded heavier in his chest. He suddenly had the irrational thought that he was about to get eaten. A second later, Umeda was stripping him out of his clothes. He was naked before he had time to even protest. His sempai herded him towards the bed before shoving him down on to it, then Umeda walked over to his desk to dig out his lube. When he turned around Akiha was still laying half propped up on his elbows, legs spread unconsciously from the way he'd fallen, with that still stunned, nervous look on his face. Umeda tossed the tube of lube, which Akiha caught instinctively.

The blond glanced down at the tube and blushed fiercely. He looked back up to see Umeda sling his shirt into the corner before stripping off his pants. Akiha' heart jumped into his throat when Umeda pulled down his boxers and kicked them aside. The blond had never seen anything so unbelievably beautiful in his life. Umeda looked like some kind of angel; hair disheveled, mouth a little swollen from kisses, all that bare pale skin, long and strong legs, and that perfect hard cock that was curling up towards his belly. He was a beautiful, lustful angel. He stalked over to the bed and climbed on. He took the lube of his Akiha's hands and set it aside. He grinned as the blond stared at his cock and licked his lips. He grabbed the younger boy's hand and pressed it to his cock.

"Touch me." He whispered to the flustered blond.

Akiha temporarily stopped breathing at the first touch on that silky, hot skin. He tentatively wrapped his fingers around Umeda's cock and stroked. Umeda rocked his hips and hummed in appreciation of the friction. Akiha's grip tightened as he grew more confident. He worked the other boy's cock like he would his own. It was so different to be jerking off someone else, yet oddly familiar in the shape and weight of that cock in his hand. The blond quivered when Umeda's hand wrapped around his dick once more before beginning to stroke. They stayed that way from a few minutes, stroking in unison. Umeda's mouth found one of the blond's nipples and nipped playfully. He grinned when Akiha jerked like he'd been shocked. The older boy spent a little more time torturing Akiha's nipples and enjoying the candid reactions the blond was giving in response. Umeda's arousal spiked with each shudder and moan from Akiha. Umeda pushed the blond's hand off his dick when he couldn't stand it anymore. Things were progressing too slowly and Umeda wanted inside the blond. Akiha stared down at him in shock as the older boy shifted downwards until his mouth was inches from the blond's erection. He had no idea what Umeda was about to do…

Umeda spread Akiha's legs and ducked his head down to swipe his tongue from taint to cock tip. The blond's whole body shuddered hard. Umeda chuckled against Akiha's cock. The blond whined at the feel of moist air blowing across his dick. He sucked in a quick breath when Umeda swallowed his cock completely into his mouth. At the same time, a finger pushed its way inside of the blond's tight hole. Akiha's body jerked like it'd been electrocuted. He was so overwhelmed by the combination of new sensations that he didn't know what to do or think. His fingers scrambled in the sheets as he fought not to buck up into Umeda's mouth. He didn't know if he wanted to get away or get closer. The finger in his ass felt strange and uncomfortable while Umeda' mouth felt unbelievably amazing. His body was too confused to decide what to do.

"Ah, God!" he gasped as Umeda swirled his tongue around the head of the blond's cock as he added another finger. Pain sizzled through the pleasure this time. It zapped up his nerves making his muscles tremble. He tried to force himself to calm down so he could focus on what it all felt like. It was incredibly mind boggling to know his crush was doing this stuff to him.

Umeda worked in another finger, mindful of the blond's gasp of discomfort. He did his best to loosen Akiha before pulling off the blond's cock with a wet pop. He smirked at the look of stunned pleasure on the blond's face. He grabbed the lube and poured a generous amount onto his dick. He rubbed it on, sighing at the slick pleasure. He was getting close to losing control. He'd never fucked anyone before. He'd only ever been on the receiving end of things. He wanted to just plunge himself inside of Akiha, but he wanted to learned how to be a good top too. That meant taking his time and getting this right.

He leaned over to kiss the blond. Akiha stared up at him in slight shock from his position on his back. "I'll be honest, this probably gonna hurt until you get used it. Just take my advice and don't tense up. Relax or this will just suck for you."

Akiha swallowed hard, a little fear and nervousness leaking back into his eyes as Umeda placed the blond's legs over his shoulders. It felt really weird and kinda scary to be almost folded in half like that with the older boy leaning over him. "Just do it."

Umeda grinned. "If you say so." He pushed the blond's legs up higher and lined up cock to that waiting hole. "Take a deep breath…"

Akiha did.

"Let it out slowly," Umeda instructed. He waited until Akiha was almost done breathing out and then pushed his cock in. The blond's legs immediately went tense in his hands. His whole body locked up at the intrusion. Umeda pressed a kiss on the inside of Akiha's thigh. "Breathe in…out. Relax," he encouraged. He continued to press in slowly with each exhaled breath. Helping Akiha settle down and accept his length, also helped Umeda keep his control together otherwise he would have come immediately. Then he was finally all the way in. He stayed still so Akiha could get used to the feeling of being filled. He remembered how it felt his first time and wondered if the blond was just as awed. Judging by the look on his face, Umeda was pretty sure Akiha was blown away. He took the time to really feel how Akiha felt around him. It was warm, tight, soft, silky, and so fucking wonderful. He looked down to take in the sight of his cock buried inside the blond's hot body. The sight was so erotic that he had to struggle not to come. His cock twitched hard in arousal.

"Wow," he breathed.

"Ah!" Akiha whimpered at the peculiar feel of that cock twitching inside him. He felt cleaved open, vulnerable, and somehow whole. He looked down to see what Umeda was looking at. He swallowed hard at the sight. "Fuck," he gasped for the first time in his life. Umeda's cock was all the way inside him! He tensed up at the thought.

"Oh God," Umeda's breath rushed out, as those muscles clenched around his dick. He thought he saw stars for a minute as ecstasy roared down every nerve in his body. "I gotta move!" He groaned.

Akiha's back arched in response when Umeda thrust into him for the first time. Both moaned in agonized pleasure. Umeda began to rock in and out at a steady pace. They both tried to concentrate on the sensations overpowering their bodies. Umeda began to slowly speed up. He wanted desperately to come. It was to wonderfully intese for him to hang on for too long. He leaned over and canted the blond's hips up higher, searching for the blond's sweet spot. He smirked proudly when Akiha yelped in surprised gratification.

"Found it," Umeda whispered and struck Akiha's sweet spot again.

They began to fuck in earnest. Their bodies rocked and slapped together. The sound of the wet slip and slid of Umeda's cock inside Akiha's body was like the bass beat to their pants, moans, whimpers, and curses. Umeda began to lose his rythmn as his orgasm grew closer. He gritted his teeth and reached down to hike Akiha's thighs higher still. The blond whined as that cock pummeled him harder, striking his sweet spot with enough force to make him writhe and tears form in his eyes. Pleasure was like a freight train bearing down on both of them. The pace was fast and relentless now. Both were nearly wild with the need to come.

"Stroke yourself," Umeda ordered breathlessly.

Akiha swallowed hard around a dry throat. He looked up into Umeda's eyes and shook his head. "I'm so close. Just-ah!-please keep going!"

Umeda laughed a little wildly. "Ok." He pulled out nearly all the way and shoved back in with a sharp snap of his hips. Akiha shouted helplessly as he came so intensely it felt like he was flying apart. The world seemed to fade out around the edges. Umeda thrust into him twice more before he succumbed to the impossible grip of Akiha's body around his cock. He cried out sharply as he came hard. He collapsed on top of the younger boy for a minute, trying to catch his breath as aftershocks sizzled through his body.

After a minute or two, he very slowly rolled off to the side and lay sprawled out on his back. Beside him, Akiha curled over onto his side facing Umeda. They were silent as reality finally began to close back in around them. Umeda closed his eyes tightly as he tried not think what a bad fucking idea it had been to screw Akiha. But damn, it had been awesome. He glanced over to see Akiha's eyes closed as his breathing evened out into a light doze. The blond looked almost angelic, calm and peaceful. There was no stupid cheery smile and no wide, lying eyes to obscure the real beauty hidden inside Akiha. If it weren't for Ryoichi maybe Umeda would have given this kid a chance. He closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep. He'd figure this bull shit out when he woke up.

/

The sun was going down when Umeda woke up. He glanced over to see the blond still curled up exactly as he had been. Umeda sat up with a groan. He was starving, but knew he'd slept through dinner. That meant he was gonna have to go out somewhere and get food. He was still tired and desperately needed a shower. He didn't feel like going out. Beside him, Akiha stirred and blinked several times as he slowly woke up.

"Hey," Umeda said, feeling kinda dumb at saying something so lame. "Are you ok?"

Akiha sat up with a wince of pain. "I'm sore."

"It happens when you're bent in half for a while," the older boy remarked.

The blond flushed brightly. "I didn't mind."

"It was good right?" Umeda asked, a tad anxiously. He hoped that he'd made it really good for Akiha since it had been his first time being seme.

"It was really good," the blond smiled. Akiha slipped his arms around Umeda's shoulders and hugged him. "Thank you, Sempai. I love you."

Umeda cringed and pulled the blond's arms off. "Look, I didn't mean to give you the wrong idea," Umeda sighed. "You're really cute, and I think I was just too sex deprived to think straight. It was cruel of me to sleep with you for that reason. I'm sorry, but I can't love you."

Akiha's eyes darkened before being hidden behind that wall of false cheer that Umeda hated. The smile never slipped off his face for a second, but somehow it had suddenly become fake. Umeda wasn't fooled.

"I understand, Sempai." Akiha smiled gamely. The sex had been incredible though. He was grateful his first time had at least been with someone he loved. Even if Umeda couldn't love him back, he'd given Akiha something special. It just hurt to know that Umeda had used him like that. "It was just sex. It didn't really mean anything—."

"Why do you do that? That fake smile isn't fooling me." Umeda interrupted in frustration. "It's so fucking annoying."

Akiha's smile vanished. "Because I have to."

"No one has to act that damn cheerful."

"I do. I can't let my dad think anything is wrong." He admitted before he realized it. Maybe he was still feeling too vulnerable and shaken by what had just happened, because he never would have said that had he been thinking clearly.

Umeda frowned. "What's your dad got to do with it?"

"He's a single parent. My mom abandoned us. She left us without a reason. So he works his ass off to put me through school. I wanted to come here to go to school, but I'd never told him. Somehow he found out and enrolled me." Akiha explained quietly. He'd never told anyone this-ever. He didn't know why he was telling Umeda. The boy didn't even like him. Yet, he loved him and maybe that was all that mattered. "So even when things are hard and I feel like I'm not worth the effort he puts forth, I just smile. I always smile for him. And maybe if I keep smiling some day I'll mean it, because I'm honestly happy."

Umeda was speechless. He had no idea this kid had such a dark side to him. "There's more to it than that though…" Umeda could just sense it.

Akiha swallowed hard. "How do you know?"

"Because I can see it in your eyes. What's the rest of it?"

"I smile because people smile back. When they smile back I feel loveable. For a second the black hole inside me lessens and I can breathe."

"Black hole?"

"When my mom left it felt like it was my fault. It seemed

like she ripped a part of me out when she left. It feels like a big gaping black hole." Akiha whispered, pressing a hand against his chest like it was something he could physically feel.

"Did you let me fuck you, because it made you feel loveable?"

"Yeah," Akiha twisted his hands. It was getting harder to talk about this. He felt like Umeda was ripping away the mask he'd so carefully created. He felt exposed in front of the other boy in a way that had nothing to do with being naked. "You made me feel whole again. I couldn't even feel the black hole in me when we were—," he flushed, "And I realized…"

"What?"

"I really do love you."

"That's a bit of a leap just because I slept with you." Umeda scowled.

"It's not just because of that. You're the only one that's ever made me feel like that." Akiha said fervently.

Umeda sighed heavily. "You don't love me. It's your mind taking what happened between us too seriously. We hardly know each other. I don't even like you. I mean, yeah, you were a great lay, but that was it. Don't make it out to be something more than that." It was a harsh thing to say, but it was better he say it then let this carry on any longer.

Akiha looked down at his hands again. "Couldn't you try to like me? Even a little?"

"Ryoichi, remember?"

"Right. Him."

"Listen, you're good looking. You'll find someone to love you. Don't put your misplaced affections on me. I can't return them." Umeda found himself saying a little more kindly than he'd meant to. "I'm gonna go take a shower and then get dinner."

"Ok," Akiha whispered, lying back down on the bed and curling up.

Umeda stood there reluctantly for another moment. He didn't know what else to do. If he showed anymore kindness to Akiha then the blond would never give up. He shook his head before going into the bathroom. Akiha lifted his head to watch the door shut quietly behind his sempai. Akiha got up slowly, wiped himself off with his discarded shirt, before getting dressed into some clean clothes. He needed to go find somewhere to think for a little while. He slipped silently out of the dorm room and disappeared down the hall.

The blond made his way to the garden where he'd had his first real conversation with Umeda. He sat down in the same spot that his sempai always like to read in. He curled up with his back to the tree and took a deep breath.

Akiha didn't regret letting Umeda take his virginity. In fact, he was incredibly grateful it had been his sempai. He at least knew what his love's mouth tasted like and how his body felt against Akiha's own. The blond got to experience a level of intimacy with Umeda that most people never got from their unrequited. Even if this was all he ever got from Umeda, Akiha would make due until he truly won his love's heart.

Umeda didn't seem to understand that he'd given Akiha more than just a first sexual experience. He'd given Akiha a reason to feel like he was not quite so broken. He felt like he was falling apart after everything that had happened with his mother. He felt ugly and unloved; like every time someone looked at him they were pitying him. He thought no one could possibly want him or desire him. And Umeda, in the space of only a few minutes, had reduced all those feelings to ashes. Maybe the boy didn't love him, but he had wanted Akiha in that moment. With every thrust of his body he was telling Akiha that he was someone desirable and beautiful. In fact, the impact was stronger because Umeda had no other feelings for him. It really was stupid and irrational, but it felt like Umeda had been healing him.

When Akiha had confessed about the darkness in his heart and his past, Umeda had not looked down on him or been disgusted by him. Umeda had only made sure that his rejection was clear. He had treated Akiha just the way he always had. That meant more to the blond than the sex did. Akiha had loved the other boy before, but now he was truly, irrevocably in love. He was determined, now more than ever, that someday he would make Umeda love him back.

/

**Be a responsible reader and review!**

I know some of you are like 'how could Umeda have slept with Akiha like that!' They're teenagers. They are victims of their hormones and don't how to control their urges yet. Sometimes, need and lust just over powering everything else. You just stop thinking and give in, even when it's a terrible stupid decision. I've been victim of it myself. It sucks. It makes you irrational and it makes you think things like 'wow, I really love this person' when really you're just high on endorphins. This is life. And it hurts. We all do dumb shit. :)


End file.
